| TOEFL® essay: Children should make their decisions? | Recommendation: Dear Sir/Madam, I recommend CG to take advanced studies in... |
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#1 (permalink) Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:56 am People always buy product not because they need it but because other people buy |
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"people always buy product not because they really need it but because other people own the product."
Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology and economy, people’s living levels have been greatly improved, people need more things than they used to. But the reasons why people buy things are varied. The question has been raised, “Does people buy thing not because they really need but because others buy?” Taking many factors in to consideration, I believe that although people may be affected by other people, they buy things mainly because they need it and like it.
To begin with, people need some basic things to ensure their daily life, such as food and water. When they buy these foundational things, they do need them and not affected by others.
Secondly, people buy things for their own interests. Beside the basic things, people also need many other things to make their life more special and different from each other. For example, all people have to buy clothes, but they don’t choose the same types or colors. Some people like wearing black suits, while some like wearing blue jeans. They choose what they like but not because what things others buy.
What’ more, people buy things for their own tradition. People live in different places and different environments, so they have different culture. Take the Chinese as an example, they like drinking tea, so they always buy tea and drink tea. But the Americans like drinking coffee instead if tea, they buy coffee or drink coffee in Starbark.
There also have some possibility that people may affected by others. People have more communication with eachother, they may have some common senses. Many things are so popular that everyone wants to have one even they don’t really need it. For example, the Joradn serises of Nike are priced, the fans want to get all of them because others buy the shoes.
All in all, people do not like to west money to buy the things they don’t need. They take serious consideration before they buy things. And they would buy what they like but not others like.
Please help me correct it, thanks a lot!
TOEFL listening discussions: What is the main weakness of the student's essay? |
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Tomandjerry0921 New Member
Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Posts: 5
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#2 (permalink) Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:57 pm People always buy product not because they need it but because other people b |
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"People always buy A product, not because they really need it, but because other people HAVE ALSO BOUGHT the product."
Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology and economy, people’s living levels have been greatly improved, people need more things than they used to, but the reasons why people buy things are varied.
The question has been raised, “DO people buy THESE thingS not because they really need THEM, but because others buy?” Taking many factors (into) consideration, I believe that although people may be affected by other people, they buy things mainly because they REALLY DO need and like THEM.
To begin with, people need some basic things to MAINTAIN their daily LIVES, such as food and water. When they buy these BASIC ESSENTIALS, THEY DO SO BECAUSE they do need them and THEY ARE not BEING affected by others.
Secondly, people buy things for their own interests. Beside the basic things, people also need many other things to make their life more special and different from THAT OF otherS.
For example, all people have to buy clothes, but they don’t choose the same types or coloUrs AS OTHER PEOPLE: Some people like wearing black suits, while OTHERS like wearing blue jeans. They choose what they like AND not because OF THE things others buy.
What IS more, people buy things TO KEEP ATTUNED TO their own traditionS.
People live in different places and different environments, so they have different cultureS. Take the Chinese FOR example. They like drinking tea, so they always buy tea and drink tea. But the Americans like drinking coffee instead Of tea. They buy coffee or drink coffee in StarbUCKS.
There IS ALSO A possibility that people may BE affected by others. People have more communication with each other AS they may have some common TASTES.
Many things are so popular that everyone wants to have one, even they don’t really need it. For example, the JordAn SERIES of Nike are HIGHLY PRIZED, AND ALL OF HER fans want to BUY them because others ALSO buy the shoes.
All in all, people do not like to WASTE money BY BUYING things THAT they don’t need. They GIVE EACH ITEM serious consideration before they buy things, and they buy what they like, but not THAT WHICH others like.
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I think you lost track of your argument along the way, but not a bad essay.
Kitos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#3 (permalink) Fri Nov 20, 2009 16:47 pm People always buy product not because they need it but because other people b |
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Thank you very much for your help!
I want to ask some quesions about "lost track of your argument along the way "
1, What does "lost track" mean? Does it mean that the whole structure is wrong or deviate from the topic? 2, Does the examples uesd in the essay appropriate ? Could they prove my opinion? 3, Should it better if I talk some things like people's subjective opinions and object opinions? |
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Tomandjerry0921 New Member
Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Posts: 5
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#4 (permalink) Fri Nov 20, 2009 17:03 pm People always buy product not because they need it but because other people b |
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Hi TJ, your opinions are sound and varied. This is a good essay and I don't think it could be improved upon.
I lost track simply because you brought so many different examples to back your opinion, and I have edited so many essays today.
I'm getting old, is all.
KItos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#5 (permalink) Fri Nov 20, 2009 17:19 pm People always buy product not because they need it but because other people b |
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| Thanks again for your answers! Best wishes! |
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Tomandjerry0921 New Member
Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Posts: 5
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| TOEFL® essay: Children should make their decisions? | Recommendation: Dear Sir/Madam, I recommend CG to take advanced studies in... |