TOEFL® essay a day: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

[MarcellaS]

Hello everyone!

So that's my first essay I'm publishing here :) Wrote it in about 30 Minutes and forced me not to read it too many times again, so that I can get an overview about my skills at this time limit :)
I would be very grateful if anybody proofreads it! :)
Marcella

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention
to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.
Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion

News about celebrities and public figures are in the actual time not avoidable, whether by reading the newspaper or watching TV you can find an article or a statement about the private life of a person who stands regularly in the public. So I can completely agree with this statement.

One reason I think, that there are too many news about the personal life of famous people in the media, is that you get in touch with this kind of news, even though you’re not paying attention to it. For example when you’re innocently looking for e-mails. Nearly every provider of an e-mail account informs you on the front page about somebody you don’t know or you’re not interested in, who drunk too much, have made his/her nose or got an affair with somebody you don’t know either,...

In addition I think that the celebrities by themselves don’t feel very comfortable to see every part of their life is being published. Also if some of them are just doing something to get more publicity, I wouldn’t refer this to the majority of public figures. So they’ve got their right of their own privacy. To reach this is very hard for them, especially when the media focussed the attention of their users to this people. The will to get more and more information and be up-to-date makes the journalists to real news and picture hunters without looking on the feelings of their victims.

In conclusion I think that the media pay too much attention to the private life of people in the public. It’s because the users of the media cannot avoid to get informed about things he’s not interested in as well as the right of privacy of the persons, who were reported about, is often violated.

TOEFL listening lectures: What is the problem with the concept of brain lateralization?

[Kitosdad]

READING ARTICLES about celebrities and public figures IS ALMOST UNAVOIDABLE, whether by SIMPLY reading A newspaper or watching TV. You can find an article or a statement about the private life of a person who stands regularly in the public EYE. So I can completely agree with this statement.

One reason I think, that there are too many news ITEMS REPORTEDabout the personal life of famous people in the media, is that you ARE EXPOSED TO this kind of news, even though you’re not paying attention to it.
For example, EVEN when you ARE innocently looking for e-mails. Nearly every provider of an e-mail account informs you on the front page about somebody you don’t know or you’re not interested in, who drAnk too much, have PUNCHED his/her nose or IS INVOLVED IN an affair with somebody you don’t know either.

In addition, I think that the celebrities by themselves don’t feel very comfortable to see every part of their LIVES being published. Also if some of them are just doing something to get more publicity, I wouldn’t refer this to the majority of THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

So they HAVE THE right TO their own privacy. To ACHIEVE this is very hard for them, especially when the media FOCUS the attention of their READERS/VIEWERS ON THESE people.

The will to get more and more information and be up-to-date makes the journalists SEEK NEWS AND PICTURES, WITH SCANT REGARD TO THE FEELINGS OF THEIR VICTIMS

In conclusion I think that the media pay FAR too much attention to the private LIVES of people in the public EYE.
It’s because the users of the media cannot avoid BEING informed about things he’s not interested in, as well as the right TO privacy of the persons who were reported about, is often violated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not bad Marcella. You have enough grasp of vocabulary. USE IT!

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[MarcellaS]

Thanks a lot for the correction, Kitosdad! :)

[Adelmtm64]

Not always

[Kitosdad]

Good morning Adelmtm64, I always find it more interesting when someone like yourself clarifies a spurious comment.

How about doing so?.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.