Application: How would factors such as your background, work and life experiences

[Bullet_Bang]

I'm applying for graduate schools and I found a question in an application bit confusing to answer.

"How would factors such as your background, work and life experiences, special interests, culture, socioeconomic status, race, or ethnicity contribute to the diversity of the entering class, and hence to the experience of your classmates? Please describe these factors and their relevance? "

What type of answer are they asking for? The answer is limited to 700 characters including spaces.

How come such factors would help class mates and diversity of the class?

All I have is that, I lived in a severe war zone for last 25 years which was absolutely unstable . However ,I was able to achieve a level of education that is I believe, above par , which implies I'm adaptable to and productive in new environments. I will be able to build a fruitful ambient among students. Blabla..

And, I work for a sillicon valley based start up whose branch is located in my Country.. It has a huge diversity among staff. The well built communication among us would be an additional point. Blabla ..

Will the points above make sense? Please advice. I'm not good in English.

[Mister Micawber]

Explain in a bit more detail about how living in a war zone has affected your outlook, attitudes and efforts, and how communicating those to your classmates will help them learn more about themselves, the world and their goals.
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Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Bullet_Bang]

Oh! thank yoy verymuch Sir. I'll write something as you guided and get back to you soon. Have a nice time.

[Bullet_Bang]

Greetings Sir! The following passage is sharp 700 in characters. Could you please comment on it or be kind enough to correct it?

"I work for a firm which plays on the cutting edge technology of FPGA. There is a considerable diversity among my colleagues and we maintain a good communication and healthy relationship. I would be able to share the earned experience and practical knowledge with those who lacks that, especially the students who directly join higher studies after their BS degrees.

I lived in a cruel war zone of XXXXXXXX until I was selected to the University by ranking 11 in the country in A/L examination. Communicating the risks I took, the hard ships I went through, the motivation I had, and the target I achieved, to my class mates will help them learn more about themselves, the world and their goals."

[Alan]

hi Bullet bang,

My comments are in CAPITAL letters:

I work for a firm which OPERATES on the cutting edge technology of FPGA. There is a considerable diversity among my colleagues and we maintain good communication and A healthy relationship. I would be able to share MY earned experience and practical knowledge with those who LACK THOSE ATTRIBUTES , especially the students who GO STRAIGHT ON TO join higher studies after their BSc degrees.

I lived in THE cruel war zone of XXXXXXXX until I was selected FOR University by ranking 11 in the country in THE A/L examination. TALKING ABOUT the risks I took, the hardships I went through, the motivation I had, and the target I achieved, to my class mates will help them learn more about themselves, the world and their goals."

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Present Simple

[Bullet_Bang]

Oh! It is very nice of you sir! Thank you so much! Have a great week!

[Bullet_Bang]

Sir, Does the following sentence look ok, especially the punctuations? Hope I'm done with this application stuff after this..

"Therefore, it is , I consider , my responsibility to bring the latest technologies and opportunities to my mother land. "

[Mister Micawber]

It is rather pompous and over-punctuated. I suggest something more simple and self-effacing:

I would like to be able to contribute to my own country's development through what I have learned.
_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Bullet_Bang]

oh thank you sir... Thank you very much. Sir, how do we learn the art of writing which is totally different from writing grammatically? Reading? It should be.. But, though I read a lot , I still lack the skill of attractive writing .. hmmm...
Anyway, thanks again sir. I appreciate your time. Have a great week.

[Bullet_Bang]

But , this is about future.. I haven't learnt the thing. I Will be learning If they admit me. Therefore , would the sentence be like, "I would like to be able to contribute to my own country's development through what I will have learned".?

[Mister Micawber]

No. For native speakers, present serves for future in such a dependent clause.
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Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's