TOEFL® essay: You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business

[Jzmee]

You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

People always have to decide how they will invest their money after they have saved it for a while. Some people invest in a house but some people invest in a business. If I have enough money, I will purchase a house as it has no any disadvantage to me.

Purchasing a house means that it belongs to me as my property. I can feel that I do not waste my money. It is just turned into a house. Besides, the house price is rising higher and higher so this is a good investment. If I have my children, they will not have to purchase a new house. They can take one of mine. If I let them find money and afford a house themselves, I can not imagine how the house price will be at that time, and how hard my children will have to work to earn enough money. Moreover, I can either move to the new house after I get bored with the old one. Some people in my country have more than one house. One is in the city near their workplaces. Another is quite far away from the city so they can have their rest there on weekends. In addition, I can let other people rent this house if I do not need to live there that time. By doing this, I can also have income from my house.

On the other hand, purchasing a business is full of risk. As I am not good at business, I need to take time in studying the business to purchase one. Even if I have studied well on the business, it is still risky. I would rather not try on my own business although I can make more profit on it.

It is obvious for me which choice I will choose after compare two options, to purchase a house or a business. Purchasing a house is surely my last answer.

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Please help give me some comment :)

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention Mona Lisa?

[Kitosdad]

An excellently thought out essay Jzmee. You continue to improve, but can you keep it up?

I think you can. Please don't disappoint me.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Jzmee]

Thank again for your help Kitos. I first didn't thought that I would recieve a praise on this essay. It's quite hard to express my thought with my limited vocabularies. I'll keep practicing my Endlish skills everyday :)