TOEFL® essay: Young people enjoy life more than old people do.

[Jzmee]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people enjoy life more than old people do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Most young people believe that their lives are fulled with color. They often think that older people's lives are so boring. However, I do believe the old have more enjoyable lives than the young.

When we talk about old people, we know that they have passed a lot of experience than the young. The old once were young before. They have done all activities that the young think they are cool activities. The age is just a number that keeps increasing. It can not stop willingness to enjoy lives from people. The old may look clumsy. Their moves may look like a slow motion picture. However, their minds are still healthy that is why we can always find a smile on their face. They always laugh and smile when they are talking about the past. They can remember many events as if these such events had just happened yesterday.

Another interesting point about the old people is that they have more money and less of work. Actually, when people get older, they can save more money, and at one point of time, they do not need to work anymore. They can spend their time for themselves. Old people can pursue their dreams which they may not be able to follow when they were still young and had to keep working. In my country, I can see many old people have lots of long trips to many places with their friends. This is what I can not do. I have to save my money for a house or for my education. My friends and I are rarely able to take a vacation to travel together. We also need to be responsible for so many things that we seldom spend our time for ourselves.

When people move slower, their hair color is whiter, their teeth are less in number, it does not mean that their jolly good time has ended. Look at their smile and you will see how enjoyable lives they have.

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Please give me some advice. :)

I also have a question. Which one is correct "a smile on their face" or "smiles on their faces" ? I always confuse with this such words. "They parked their car" or "They park their cars"

I think everyone has only one face so it should be "their face". Or it should be "their faces" because we are talking about his face, her face... Or both could be used???

TOEFL listening lectures: Which of the following is true of biological indicators?

[Jzmee]

I've just noticed that while I used "their face", I also used "people's lives". hahaha

[Kitosdad]

Jzmee, English has this wonderful flexibility that allows you to use almost every combination of words in any way that you wish. Only the context matters. Get it wrong, and you sound like a fool. :-)

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Jzmee]

Kitos~ I did really confuse when I find these such words. So we I use both of them??

and... could you also comment on my essay?

Thanks always~

[Kitosdad]

Most young people believe that their lives are FILLED with color. They often think that older people's lives are so boring. However, I PERSONALLY believe the old LEAD more enjoyable lives than the young.

When we talk about old people, we know that they have HAD a lot of experienceS IN THEIR LIVES, CERTAINLY FAR MORE THAN THE YOUNG.
They have done all OF THE activities that the young PEOPLE OF TODAY think OF AS cool activities.
Age is just a number that keeps increasing. The old may look clumsy, BUT THIS DOES NO DETER THEM FROM ENJOYING THEMSELVES.
Their moveMENTS may look like a slow motion picture, however their minds are still VERY ACTIVE. That is why we can always find a smile on their faceS. They always laugh and smile when they are talking about the past. They can remember many events as THOUGH these events had happened ONLY yesterday.

Another interesting point about the old people is that they have more money and less work.
Actually, when people get older, they can save more money, and at one point of time, they do not need to work any-more. They HAVE MORE time for themselves.
OldER people can STILL pursue their dreams. DREAMS which they may not HAVE beEN able to PURSUE when they were still young AS THEY had to keep working.

In my country, I can see many old people TAKING long trips to many places with their friends. This is SOMETHING THAT I cannot AFFORD TO do. I HAVE NEITHER THE TIME OR MONEY TO DO SO.
I have to save my money TO BUY a house or for my education. My friends and I are rarely able to AFFORD TO take a vacation together. We also need to be responsible for so many things that we seldom HAVE TIME for ourselves.

JUST BECAUSE people move slower, their hair GREYS AND their teeth are less in number, does not mean that their LIVES HAVE COME TO AN END. Look at their SMILING FACES and you will see WHAT enjoyable lives they have.

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"they can save more money" Jzmee, this phrase was an open door for you to exploit to the fullest.
How are they able to save more money?

They usually have a reduced appetite, therefore they need to buy less food.
Their wardrobes are full. No need to replace worn-out clothing.
They usually own their own homes. No further mortgage payments necessary.
They usually have concessionary discounts due to their age.

The above reasons gave you sufficient "fodder" for an essay. Open your mind to the vast possibilities that you created, yet failed to exploit.

However, I did find your essay creative and interesting.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Jzmee]

Kitos, you're nice as always. Thanks for helping adjust my essay and giving me great advice~

I'll try to make it better next time :)

[Tortoise]

[Kitosdad]

"JUST BECAUSE THAT people move slower"

Tortoise, your addition makes no grammatical sense at all.

"Your" other additions are already present in the text should you bother to read the essay again.

Regards, Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Tortoise]

[quote="Kitosdad"]
"Your" other additions are already present in the text should you bother to read the essay again.
[quote]

I saw it. I don't know why there is an additional "number" in this sentence. I ddin't mean to put it in.

JUST BECAUSE THAT people move slower, their hair GREYS AND their teeth are less in number, number, DOES NOT MEAN that.....

But if it reads JUST BECAUSE people move slower, their hair GREYS AND their teeth are less in number, does not mean that..., then I will wonder what the subject in this sentence is.

[Kitosdad]

"Just" could be replaced by SIMPLY.

It means that people usually presume that because people are showing the accepted outward signs of ageing, doesn't necessarily mean that the all have a defeated outlook.

Nowadays most people can only really begin to enjoy life after they have shed the responsibilities of having a young family to care for.

Most cruises are filled to overflowing with members of the older generation, as are the hotels around the country, in the Winter-time.

Anyone can be old...you just have to live long enough. ;-))

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.