Obesity essay: The number of obese people is significantly increasing.

[Bluegenie_j]

The number of obese people is significantly increasing. Therefore, obesity is becoming a bother disease. This essay will look at some of causes and solutions of obesity.

One of the main causes is eating habits. People eat fast food a lot because they are very busy and do not have time to prepare a good meal for health. For example, in office, staff s have 2 hours for break time so fast food which can improve an entire day’s worth of calories is the best choice for having lunch. As a result, more people become fatter.

The second cause is less activity than ever. People have some conveniences such as elevators, motorbikes or car, remote control so people cut activities out of the lives. For instance, instead of walking to your house in fifth floor, people use elevators. As a consequence, calories continue to cumulate. This causes obesity.

These are 2 causes of obesity. The solutions will now be examined.

The first solution is to change eating habits. Everyday, people should have a meal with high food value. For example, Vietnamese always have meals with rice, meat or fish and vegetable which improve enough food material. Furthermore, people should eat less fast food. Thus, everyone can prevent from obesity.

The second solution is more activity. Doing exercise can burn calories out so people should do exercise everyday. Moreover, people should not depend on convenience a lot. For example, if your house is near the market, you should walk to the market.

In conclusion, obesity has some causes and negative effects on people. Possible solutions are more active and to have good meals everyday.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class (2)

[Tortoise]

I see some mistakes.

[Kitosdad]

Tortoise, your efforts to edit this essay are commendable, but unless your intention is to edit the entire essay, then you are wasting both your own time and the time of the writer.

Spurious corrections only add confusion to the interest of the writer and others who may wish to benefit from the corrections.

Please edit the whole essay if you feel capable, if not, it is better to spend your time elsewhere on the Forum, for here we have some wonderful voluntary tutors.

Please take my comments in the way in which they are intended, and not as caustic comments.

Regards, Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Bluegenie_j]

thank you for comment! I know that my meaning of essay is not good but this essay is my efforts. The most important thing which I need is good grammar.

[Kitosdad]

The number of obese people is significantly increasing. Therefore, obesity is becoming a botherSOME disease. This essay will look at some of causes and solutions of obesity.

The main causes ARE OUR eating habits. People eat fast food a lot because they are very busy and do not have time to prepare a good HEALTHY meal for THEMSELVES.
For example, in OUR office, THE staff ARE ALLOWED TWO hours for break-time, so fast food, which can PROVIDE an entire day’s worth of calories, is the best choice TO HAVE FOR lunch, but as a result, people become fatter.

The second cause is A LACK OF PHYSICAL activity.
People have SO MANY conveniences, such as elevators, motorbikes AND carS, so people cut MANY ESSENTIAL activities out of theIR lives, SUCH AS SIMPLY WALKING
For instance, instead of walking UP to your APARTMENT ON THE fifth floor, people use elevators. As a consequence, calories continue to ACcumulate. This causes obesity.

These are TWO OF THE MAIN causes of obesity. The solutions will now be examined.

The first solution is to change OUR eating habits. Everyday, people should have a meal with A high food value CONTENT.
For example, Vietnamese PEOPLE always have meals with rice, meat or fish and vegetableS, which CONTAIN enough food material.

Furthermore, people should eat less fast food. Thus, everyone can HELP THEMSELVES IN preventING obesity.

The second solution is TO INVOLVE THEMSELVES IN more activity. Doing exerciseS can burn calories OFF, so people should exercise every day.
Moreover, people should not BECOME dependANT on convenienceS. For example, if your house is near the market, you should walk to the market.

In conclusion, obesity has some negative effects on people. THE possible solution IS TO BE more active and to have good HEALTHY meals everyday.
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A very good first essay BG. Keep it up. You are doing fine.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.