TOEFL® speaking response?

[Wepro]

TOEFL SPEAKING RESPONSE ...?
i've just taken a mock TOEFL exam. here is my speaking response and i hope someone here will read it and tell me my mistakes (or correct words , grammar..)Thanks in advance.

1.What is your dream job ?

When it comes to my dream jobs , i wish that one day i could become a famous
football player.

First of all i am an avid football fan.
when i was young , i would watch for hours football matches on T.V
i would dream about playing football like my idols on T.V
everything about football seemed so fascinating so possible to me .

Furthermore, in my child 's mind i thought as a professional player
i could have a chance to play football everyday , win a lot of
championships .
So my life would become happy and my parents would proud of me.

2.Are you forgetful or do you always remember important things ?

i am proud to say that i hardly ever forget important things.

First of all , i have a very good memory.
The evidence is I can speak accurately from memory most of myfriend' s birthdays
or recite the long poems , even a story word for word.

Furthermore i also have an effective trick to avoid memory lapses.
, and that is to write down all the appointments and deadlines in my datebook and skim it everynight and it will remind me exactly what i have to do on the next day.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why do Birds of Paradise have amazing plumages?

[Richard]

Hi Wepro
I have made some suggestions:

[Richard]

(i) is a letter in the English alphabet and (I) is a word (pronoun).
i went = I went
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Who dares to teach must never cease to learn. -John Cotton Dana

[Nzuahp]

Hello my dear Richard, it has been ages. Hope you are doing great.
Happy and a properous New Year in advance.
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Practice makes perfect.