Which is better to travel outside or to stay in the same country?

[Amitevski]

Hi guys. I'm preparing for the toefl exam and would appreciate if someone could rate my essay. It's my first essay, only to mention.

Which is better to travel outside or to stay in the same country?

Nowadays people are travelling cross our whole planet earth. It seems the further away the destination is the more desirable. But do we always have to go far away to have a splendid holiday, or would it be better to spend our holiday in our own country? In my opinion it is much better to travel to far destinations. In the following paragraphs, I will explain some main reasons.

First, the advantage of travelling outside is, that you can get to know other cultures and other people. If you always stay in your home country you can’t broaden your horizon. With travelling around the globe you can learn very much from the different cultures. In your home country there may be only little differences between people and you can’t learn that much.

Second reason, why I prefer travelling outside is that it’s not very warm in my home country. Therefore, if you wish to go to the beach you have to travel to another country. Depending in which season you want to go swimming and laying in the sun you may have to travel a lot.

A third reason to visit foreign countries is to learn or deepen your foreign language skills. For example, it is much easier to learn English in Great Britain or USA than in Germany. Outside you are forced to speak English in order to communicate, and you cannot fallback to German if you have some difficulties to find the right words in English.

In short I think travelling outside is the better choice. Abroad you can get to know different cultures deepen your foreign language skills and of course flee to countries where it’s hot and you can go to the beach.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and a university advisor

[Happytofita]

While waiting for someone to correct your minor mistakes, let me tell you that your essay is well-organized, nice and simple.

Good luck.
: o)

[Dodgewiper]

you are so nice at writing.don't give up.
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Man gets and forgets, God gives and forgives.

[Kitosdad]

Nowadays people are travelling Across our whole planet.
It seems the further away the destination, the more desirable IT BECOMES.
But do we always have to go far away to have a splendid holiday, or would it be better to spend our holiday in our own country?
In my opinion it is much better to travel to far destinations.
In the following paragraphs, I will explain some main reasons.

First, the advantage of travelling is, that you can get to know other cultures and other people. If you always stay in your home country you can’t broaden your horizonS.
BY travelling around the globe you can learn A VERY GREAT DEAL ABOUT different cultures. In your home country there may be only little differences between people, and you can’t learn that much.

THE second reason why I prefer travelling, is that it’s not very warm in my home country. Therefore, if you wish to go to the beach you MAY have to travel to another country, SHOULD YOU WANT TO BE WARM AND SUNBATHE.
Depending ON which season you want to go swimming and lying in the sun, you may have to travel a lot.

A third reason FOR VISITING foreign countries is to learn or deepen your foreign language skills. For example, it is much easier to learn English in Great Britain or USA than in Germany.
WHEN you are forced to speak English in order to communicate, you cannot fall back ON German if you have some difficulties to find the right words in English.

In short I think travelling ABROAD is the better choice. Abroad you can get to know different cultures, deepen your foreign language skills, and of course flee to countries where it’s hot and you can go to the beach.
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Like Michael said, a neat and tidy essay. Well done.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Amitevski]

Thank you very much for your responses. I really appreciate that.

Merry Christmas to everyone