A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect th

[Mixmixi]

Hi guys, this is my 4th essay. I'm sure it has more grammatical problems than my last essay. But hope it's better than the last one.

Thanks in advanced for your opinions.

A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

If a company in my society is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment, I prefer that we spend it on protecting the environment, my reasons for this opinion can defined in these terms; global warming, health and protecting our only legacy for the next generations. I know these words may sounds weird but you can read my reasons for using them as my opinions in the below paragraphs.

First advantage in protecting of our environment is preventing from global warming. Nowadays with conversion of traditional lives to mechanical lives and addendum in number of cars, factories and other pollutant reasons on our earth we can see that the amounts of the greenhouse gases around the earth are increasing in a fast rate which my cause many awful things for human life. In addition my country and my city is one of the most polluted cities around the world, by this reason I chooses the global waring as my major reason for my opinion.

Second reason for my choice is health. By protecting the environment from pollutant materials such as wastes and trashes, greenhouse gases and helping to save the jungles, plants and animals spices, we may have a happier earth, a cleaner air and etc. By this causes the humans will be more healthy and also the diseases in our society will be reduced.

And my last but not least reason is to protect the earth for our next generation. I think our most important gift for our child and our grandchild will be the earth and if we don't protect it from the harmful things, their life on it will be more difficult.

And as my conclusion, With knowing that my hometown really needs the environment protection, I prefer they spend their money on improving this matter for us.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and a registration clerk during registration week
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.

[Kitosdad]

If a company in my society WERE going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment, I WOULD prefer that THEY spenT it on protecting the environment.
My reasons for this opinion can defined in these terms; global warming, health and protecting our only legacy for the next generations. I know these words may sound weird but you can read my reasons for using them in the FOLLOWING paragraphs.

THE first STEP in protecting our environment WOULD BE IN TRYING TO REDUCE global warming.
Nowadays with THE conversion of OUR traditional lives to mechanical lives and addendum in number of cars, factories and other pollutant reasons on our earth, we can see that the amounts of greenhouse gases around the earth are increasing AT a fast rate, which mAy cause many awful things TO HAPPEN TO WE humanS .
In addition my country, and my city, is one of the most polluted cities around the world, AND FOR this reason I choose global warMing as my major reason for my opinion.

Second reason OF my choice is health. By protecting the environment from pollutant materials such as waste and trash, greenhouse gases, and helping to save the jungles, plants and animals spiEces, we may have a happier earth, aND cleaner air etc.
By ELIMINATING THESE, humans will be more healthy, and the diseases in our society will be reduced.

And my last but not least reason is to protect the earth for our next generation. I think our most important gift for our childREN and our grandchildREN will be the earth, and if we don't protect it from the harmful things, their LIVES on it will be more difficult.

And as to my conclusion; with knowing that my home-town really needs environmental protection, I prefer they spend their money on improving this matter for us.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not too bad Mix, but not great. Have a break. Enjoy Xmas, and do a little more reading.
Enjoy yourself with your family, and give the work some rest.

Take care, Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Mixmixi]

Hi my dear friend, I'm really thank you for correcting my essay. I will try my best on my next but I can not stop writing them. I've just signed for TOEFL exam on 7'th Feb 10. This exam is my first and also my last chance for achieving the optimum scores, so that makes me crazy. I'm afraid that I will be gone crazy before my exam. I can not have any break because when I do nothing, that makes me feel nervous. I really want to ask you to score me and help me to improve myself. Please introduce me a good book for reading and study I just have TOEFL test books.

Thanks for your kindness
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.

[Kitosdad]

Mix, I've already recommended that you read newspapers and magazine articles only.

You can afford to take a break. Too much writing will not help you to improve, but reading will.

Please, do take a break.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Mixmixi]

Ok man,thank you, I will start the reading instead of writing, I will write my essays every 2 days, does it help me?
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.

[Kitosdad]

I guarantee you that you will improve if you read more. I know how desperate you are to write, but first learn how to write well, by reading.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.