Roommates in University/ school

[Abuja]

Dear Forum-members,
I am new in this forum and I would like to know what and how I can improve in my essay-writing-skills. I wrote the attached text within the given timeframe and I am not very happy with my text because it lacs substantial information and examples. I am a bit afraid, that during my Toefl-test, which will take place next friday, I will have problems finding examples and reasons as well. Does anybody have any suggestions??
Greetings, abuja

Question:
Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

My essay:

When living with a roommate while going to school or university it is important that the roommate has some qualities. I think the most important qualities can be categorized in three categories: Tidiness, honesty and empathy.

Firstly a good roommate should be tidy, which does not only mean, that he should tidy up and keep clean his part of the room, but also, that he should have a certain body hygiene. If your roommate is not cleaning, either you will have to do it all the time, or you will suffer because the room is not clean. Your guests, assuming that you have some, will not feel well in your room and will not visit you often. Of course it should be mentioned, that if both roommates do not clean at all, there is the danger of sicknesses and insects in the room. Additionally a tidy and clean room makes you feel home.

Secondly, when living with a roommate, it is important, that he is an honest and reliable person. On one hand, he should be trustworthy, as he will sometimes be in the room without you and should not steal your things. On the other hand he should be able to keep secrets, if, for example, you escape during the night to meet your secret girlfriend or you come home late, he should not tell it to the persons in charge. There should be integrity.

Another key-quality of a good roommate is empathic thinking, or at least that he thinks on others, in this case on the roommate. If you fall on a selfish roommate he will, for example, not care about the above-mentioned points. Or he will listen to loud music while you sleep or while you try to study.

To sum all up, it is important that a roommate has some basic characteristic qualities to simplify the life together.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor discuss an experiment with dummies?

[Kitosdad]

That's OK Abuja. An essay of this calibre will see you through your test. Relax.

Spend some time reading other people's essays posted here, and perhaps you will freshen your thinking in the coming days.

Good luck with the test.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Abuja]

Dear Kitosdad,
Thank you very much for the fast reply. I will try some other questions, maybe some of the questions that have been posted here... and hopefully there will be a nice question in my test :-). Have a nice evening, and thank you again! Abuja