Is it more important to study science than it is to study literature?

[Abuja]

Hello everybody,
it would be very nice if someone could give me feedback on my essay. How would a teacher (i.e. Kitosdad ;-)) grade my essay? I have to mention, that I erased five (typing-)mistakes. Does anybody know, if mistakes that are repeated count double (I wrote developed always with two p..)?
Have a good night :-)

Essay Question:
Is it more important to study science than it is to study literature?

My answer:
It is a very interesting and important question to ask, wheter studying science or studying literature is more important. I think this question cannot be answered in a general manner, so I choose to argument from the point of view, that there are basic needs of human beings, especially the physical wellbeing. From that viewpoint I think, that studying science is more important than studying literature.

Firstly, science is needed, to conduct researches to fight against starvation and to have enough food. There have been numerous inventions in the past, that made the developed world become a place were almost nobody has to die because of starvation anymore. For further development of these inventions and to transmit these inventions to developing countries, there is more research, so more science and more science students needed.

The second reason is that science developed, and will develop, medicaments to fight diseases and sicknesses. Without medication, or without the research that took place to get knowledge about sicknesses, people would die because of nowadays “harmless” sicknesses like the flu. Because sicknesses and diseases are developping and changing and we can not fight all the existing sicknesses yet, we need scientists that develop medication, keep it up to date and develop it.

On the other hand, literature and therefore studying literature is very important, too. Without people that have studied literature, we would not have readable information, even information about inventions that science students have developed. So all the nice inventions would maybe not be published without literature students. There are numerous other reasons, like teaching good behaviour, or teaching love, that make literature quite essential for humanity.

Summarize the above mentioned facts: Without inventions or science we would not have much time to enjoy the things that literature is able to deliver to mankind, as we would die more early because of starvation or sicknesses; our living time would be shorter. So studying science is more important than literature.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an arts class (2)

[Mixmixi]

Hi Abuja,
In my opinion, your English is good, but you need to learn how to manage it. You know my friend, your sentence structures are not good enough, and don't be afraid, it has a simple solution! By reading more you can solve it easily. For instance, let's talk about one of your sentences.
'science is needed, to conduct researches to fight against starvation and to have enough food'.
You have many other ways to write it more interesting. For example, 'science is needed, to conduct researches to fight against hunger and to find modern methods to produce enough food for humans.'
You see? It's better now. I know you can even write a more better sentence. So, just focus on what you are doing especially reading.

Mixmixi
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.

[Abuja]

Hey Mixmixi,
thank you for your advice. You are right, the structure of my sentences is not good. I think I am able to write nice sentences and I would have corrected the sentences, but I did not have enough time. During the 30 minutes, I was able to rearead the text and to make a few corrections, but there was not enough time to reformulate the sentences...

Has any of the toefl-experienced people in this forum have an idea wich grad I would get with a text like that?

Greetings, abuja

[Mixmixi]

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I have a general idea for you my friend, PRACTICE!

Regards - Mixmixi
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.