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Essay independent question: Should you always tell the truth in a relationship?



 
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Essay independent question: Should you always tell the truth in a relationship? #1 (permalink) Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:12 am   Essay independent question: Should you always tell the truth in a relationship?
 

Hi there,

Can anyone please give me some feedback on my independent Toefl essay?
The question was something whether always speaking the truth is most important in a relationship - agree or disagree + why.

Oh the essay doesnot necessarily state my true opinion :-)
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Essay:

Although being honest is a positive trait in people and being truthful is important in a relationship, I do think that it is sometimes better to not tell the truth.

Telling the truth can in some cases be unnecessary hurtful and may even jeopardize your relationship. For example, when your friend has a new hair do and she asks you what you think of it, you could say that you think it is absolutely horrible. If that is what you really think, you would be honest to her. However, it wouldn’t be nice to her. There is not much that she can do about her hair do right now, so telling her that she looks like a fool would only upset her. In such cases I think it is perfectly acceptable to tell a so-called white lie. If you occasionally tell a white lie to a friend I think the relationship will not suffer from it, on the contrary it will benefit the relationship because you respect your friend and his or her style.

Besides telling white lies, which I consider quite harmless, people can also decide to not tell you something at all. Would not telling something you know constitute lying, I wonder? Well, if you hide information you are not being entirely open and honest to the other person. Is this necessarily a bad thing? I personally do not think so.
Of course it depends on the information that you decide not to tell and how important it is to your friend. For example if you found out that your friend’s boyfriend is cheating, would you tell her? Although it would be honest to tell her the truth, arguments can be made to hide it from her. For instance, what if she doesn’t believe you? Then she may well get very upset and angry with you. This would only drive her into the arms of her boyfriend instead of believing you. In such cases you as the messenger might well be regarded as the bad guy. This would not help the situation at all.

In conclusion, I do think that honesty is very important in relationships, but I also believe that telling the truth isn’t always the best way in friendship. In my view, white lies and not telling something can be acceptable if the situation warrants this. There is no harm in being considerate!

Many thanks for feedback.

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Asterix
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Joined: 22 Jan 2010
Posts: 6

Essay independent question: Should you always tell the truth in a relationshi #2 (permalink) Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:50 am   Essay independent question: Should you always tell the truth in a relationshi
 

Although being honest is a positive trait in people, and being truthful is important in a relationship, I do think that it is sometimes better to not tell the truth.

Telling the truth can, in some cases; be unnecessarILy hurtful and may even jeopardize your relationship.
For example, when your friend has a new hair-do and she asks you what you think of it, you could say that you think it is absolutely horrible.
If that is what you really think, you would be honest to her.
However, it wouldn’t be nice /to/FOR/ her.

There is not VERY much that she can do about her hair-do right now, so telling her that she looks like a fool would only upset her. In such cases I think it is perfectly acceptable to tell a so-called white lie.
If you occasionally tell a white lie to a friend I think the relationship will not suffer /from/BECAUSE OF/ it, on the contrary, it /MAY WELL / will benefit the relationship because you respect your friend and his or her style.

Besides telling white lies, which I consider quite harmless, people can also decide to not tell you something at all. Would not telling something you know constitute lying, I wonder?
Well, if you hide information you are not being entirely open and honest to the other person.
Is this necessarily a bad thing? I personally do not think so.
Of course it depends on the information that you decide not to tell, and how important it is to your friend.

For example if you found out that your friend’s boyfriend /is/WAS/ cheating, would you tell her?
Although it would be honest to tell her the truth, arguments can be made to hide it from her.
For instance, what if she doesn’t believe you? Then she may well get very upset and BECOME angry with you.
This would only drive her into the arms of her boyfriend instead of believing you.
In such cases you, as the messenger, might well be regarded as the bad guy. This would not help the situation at all.

In conclusion, I do think that honesty is very important in relationships, but I also believe that telling the truth isn’t always the best way in ANY friendship. In my view, white lies and not telling something can be acceptable if the situation warrants this. There is no harm in being considerate!
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Good morning Asterix. An excellent essay in every way. Congratulations. 9/10.

Kitos.
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Essay independent question: Should you always tell the truth in a relationship? #3 (permalink) Mon Jan 25, 2010 10:08 am   Essay independent question: Should you always tell the truth in a relationship?
 

Hi Kitos,

Thanks very much for your feedback!

I'll keep on practicing to further improve :-)

Asterix
Asterix
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Joined: 22 Jan 2010
Posts: 6

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