A university education should be provided free of charge to all interested schola

[Thacha]

Could you please give me the comment and score for my essay?
Thank you in advance :)

University education is the important stage of education. Some people think that the cost of studying in the university is expensive and they want a university education to be free of charge. I disagree with this idea. I believe that university should collect money from the interested scholars.

First, universities can spend the money, collecting from students, developing the necessary stuff such as library , computer room or hiring the effective professor. Students need good a quality of life, knowledge, high technology and so on from the universities which mean that they need a lot of money as well as time to satisfy students’ expectation. The more universities develop themselves, the higher university education's standard is.

Second reason why I believe that university education should not be free is that most of students can afford to pay their tuition and fee. It is true that some students cannot but most of universities already have the program to support these student like financial aid program , grant or scholarship.

Thirdly, universities are one kind of the company selling the products which is knowledge. They have to hire staff such as professors, janitors and security guards. It is obviously to see that universities have big cost also. They need money to pay for their staff, utilities and other expenses. The way they get the money is from selling knowledge. If students need knowledge from the universities , they should buy it with money.

Finally,I think it will be waste of time for university to wait for the support money from the government only if it offers free education to students. For example, university A where get money from the students can buy the new computers and install in the computer room for students to access whereas university B has to find the way to get money from the government or from any supporters to buy .

From all the reason which I mentioned above, I strongly believe that a university education should charge students.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a research professor and a student

[Kitosdad]

Could you please give me the comment and score for my essay?
Thank you in advance :)

University education is the (most) important stage of (a persons) education. Some people think that the cost of studying in the university is expensive and they want a university education to be free of charge. I disagree with this idea. I believe that university should collect money from the interested scholars.

First, universities can spend the money collecting collected from students, (by) developing the necessary stuff (requirements of the university) such as (a) library , computer room or hiring the effective professorS.
Students need (a) good quality of life, knowledge, high technology and so on from the universities which meanS that they need a lot of money as well as time to satisfy students’ expectationS. The more (that) universities develop themselves, the higher (the) university'S educationAL standard is(will become).

Second reason why I believe that university education should not be free is that most of (the) students can afford to pay (for) their tuition and feeS.
It is true that some students cannot(,) but most of universities already have the program to support these studentS(,) like financial aid program , grantS or scholarshipS.

Thirdly, universities are one kind of the company selling the(its) products which is knowledge. They have to hire staff such as professors, janitors and security guards.
It is obvious to see that universities have big cost also. They need money to pay for their staff, utilities and other expenses. The way they get the money is from selling knowledge. If students need knowledge from the universities , they should buy it with money.

Finally, I think it will be (a) waste of time for (a) university to wait for the support money from the government only if it offers free education to students. For example, university A where (who/which/)get money from the students can buy the new computers and install in the computer room for students to access(,) whereas university B has to find the way to get money from the government, or from any supporters to buy .

From all the reasonS which I (have) mentioned above, I strongly believe that a university education should (not be offered free of) charge (to) students.
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Quite good. 8/10.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Alive]

hi, kisto.
why do you give the author quite good mark while there are remarkably many mistakes in the essay?
can you explain to me about the essential requirements of an essay so that I can get better mark?
I think the requirements contain correct grammar, ideas and the expressions. is it right?
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K-I-S-S
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[Kitosdad]

Good morning Alive. I gave Thacha a good mark because of his good command of English.
His use of prepositions, and some articles was weak, but overall the essay was quite good.

I do not only notice the mistakes made in writing the essay, but also the content, how it was approached, was it interesting or boring. Much the same way as you read a book that you like.

Please, be patient and continue to write your essays. I assure you that I am as critical of good writers, such as HardWorker and others, as I am benevolent to newer pupils.

The better they become, the more critical I also become. It works, believe me.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.