The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earn

[Ella Tan]

Please help me grade my first essay here,
Many thanks

The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earn

Most people spend more than half of their time on their jobs. Therefore, choosing a job is not easy. Money is a vital factor that many people consider first. In my opinion, besides income and other benefits that a job provides me, I would consider two conditions which are much more crucial to me, which are time and job opportunity.

First, we should have enough time to do other things but work, for instance, doing exercise, relaxing, traveling around, keeping hobby and spending time with family. I learn from my friend, who got a well-paid job that required her to work 60 hours a week, working that hard was very harmful to her health mentally and physically. She noticed that her health was getting weaken. Moreover, she was always frustrated and that made the relationship between her and family members became worsen. She did not hesitate to resign from that job 4 months later. Although she could earn great amount of money, she does not think that it worth to sacrifice her own happiness which could not be purchased by the money she earned.

Second, I prefer to have a challenging job which provides me with opportunities to learn new things as well as chances to utilize my knowledge, so that I can show my working proficiency and improving myself at the same time. I believe that if one tries very hard in the job field in which he really interested in, he will succeed and get promoted soon. When the time comes, I think it would not be difficult anymore to earn a lot of money from his expertise.

In conclusion, money cannot buy everything, so we should seize the day and do what we think can make us and people around us be happier. If I can find a job that fits me and is not contrast with my value, I will take it. Even though it might not make me rich, it makes me a happy person.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of History

[Cgk]

[Ella Tan]

Dear Cloudia,

Thank you very much for your comment.
I'll double check my grammar for the next essay, hope u would help me again.

Ella Tan