TOEFL® essay: Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better...

[Demon]

Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

When I was a child, I only wanted to earn a lot of money. But when I grow up, I need to face a bigger problem: how to use it efficiently? Should I enjoy my money when I earn or it it better to save my money for some time in the future? In my point of view, saving money is much better.

Firstly, I still need money to study higher. My majority is accouting, and I am working part-time as an accountant. After graduating from university, I want to study higher to have ACCA qualification. As we all know, to achieve that goal, I need a lot of money to study English because I will study all subjects in English. The tuition to study ACCA is extremely expensive. So, it is better to save my money which I earn from my job from now.

Secondly, I want a bigger house for my family to live. The apartment I am living now is only enough space for three person. In a near future, when I get married, it is absolutely that there are not enough space for all to live together. In fact, the price for a house is rising day by day. To buy a new house, the only way here is to save some each month, including help from my parents, I will be able to buy a bigger house for my family.

Finally, there is an idiom like this: “ Saving for the rainy day”. It is true that emergency can come unexpectly. We can not know when it comes. I prepare it from now so whenever anything happens, I make sure that I am capable to deal with it.

To sum up, the price for everything is higher, the expense for service is rising up. Instead of using up all the money we earn, I perceive that it is a better choice to save some to prepare for our future.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university adviser and a student

[Kitosdad]

A very sensible and rationally composed essay Demon. It needs little correction.

I think you are worrying unduly. I am sure you will rectify any slight faults you may have when you continue to read and write more often.

As it stands now it is well worth 7/10.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Demon]

Thanks for your comments.
I just want to have questions: What do you think i need to improve more? How can i get higher score when i write? In a essay, which point do you often depend on to give high mark?

[Kitosdad]

"which point do you often depend on to give high mark?"

A novel and interesting composition.

Stop worrying, keep reading!

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.