Some students like to work in groups with other students when doing assignments

[Cinar]

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Dear all, can anyone evaluate my essay and give a score to it?
Thanks in advance
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Question:Some students like to work in groups with other students when doing assignments and projects. Other students prefer to work independently.Which do you prefer? Use spesific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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Human being has accomplished great works in every society such as Eiffel Tower in France and Pyramids in Egypt. All these works needed cooperation that it was essential for big achievements. As shown here, cooperation is a milestone for development in every society. If we look at from this view, teamwork is very important for people and students as well. I strongly believe that students must work with their friends for several reasons explained below.
Firstly, working with a group of people brings less work to everyone. Everybody in the group takes the appropriate assignment for himself and this makes members motivated. Another useful factor of teamwork is diversity. Every team member approaches project in a different way and after brainstorming appropriate solution will be found. Also, amazing works can be prepared by members consequently grades will be better for all members of the team.
Secondly, working with friends saves time. Students can spend their time on other activities such as going to cinema or hanging out with their friends. Also, studying for a single goal makes students closer and this brings better friendship. Responsibility is another factor. Finishing a project before deadline develops responsibility of students. In addition, there should be a leader in the team for coordination. Someone in the team can recognize some hidden skill like leadership he already has and can develop it by managing the team.
Thirdly, there are lots of people who looking for job because of economic crisis. Corporations are trying to choose most suitable candidates for the position. And for the human resources department the most significant characteristic of a candidate is having good communication skill. A student can show as reference work in his curriculum vitae after he accomplish a project with his friends.
As a consequence, as I illustrated above students should work with their friends.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the professor?

[Alan]

Hi,

Some comments in CAPITAL letters:

Human beingS has/HAVE accomplished great works in every society such as THE Eiffel Tower in France and THE Pyramids in Egypt. All these works needed cooperation that (it) was essential for big achievements. As shown here, cooperation is a milestone for development in every society. If we look at THEM from this view, teamwork is very important for people and students as well. I strongly believe that students must work with their friends for several reasons explained below.
Firstly, working with a group of people brings less work to everyone. Everybody in the group takes the appropriate assignment for himself and this makes members motivated. Another useful factor of teamwork is diversity. Every team member approaches A project in a different way and after brainstorming, AN appropriate solution will be found. Also, amazing works/WORK can be prepared by members consequently grades will be better for all members of the team.
Secondly, working with friends saves time. Students can spend their time on other activities such as going to THE cinema or hanging out with their friends. Also, studying for a single goal makes students closer and this brings better friendship. Responsibility is another factor. Finishing a project before A deadline develops A SENSE OF responsibility of/FOR students. In addition, there should be a leader in the team for coordination. Someone in the team can recognize some hidden skill like leadership he already has and can develop it by managing the team.
Thirdly, there are lots of people who ARE looking for job because of THE economic crisis. Corporations are trying to choose THE most suitable candidates for the position. And for the human resources department the most significant characteristic of a candidate is having good communication skillS. A student can show as A reference THE work HE HAS DONE in his curriculum vitae after he HAS accomplishED a project with his friends.
As a consequence, as I illustrated above students should work with their friends.


Good piece of writing, Cinar. Check on the site some notes I've written on the definite and indefinite articles.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Present Simple

[Cinar]

thank you Alan, I will check definite and indefinite articles immediately.
I am really appreciate if you give a score for it.
thanks

[Alan]

Hi Cinar,

Going back to the days when I was an examiner for the Cambridge Proficiency and First Certificate examinations, I would give a score of 20 out of 25. Hope that gives you some idea.

Alan
_________________
English as a Foreign Language
You can read my EFL story Progressive Forms

[Cinar]

thank you very much Alan. It really helped me.

I will take Toefl IBT exam in March.