Toeft essay: Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable

[Demon]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

When one fiction, such as a novel or a short storie, becomes famous, its content will be immediately used to make a blockbuster or a 3D cartoon. So, there are a lot of people who love watching movies than reading the fiction. But with me, reading it brings me a lot of new experience.

After studying at school, I am always tired and sometimes I have a terrible headache. Therefore, I do not want to watch TV because it is very noisy. I just want to enjoy one quite night with a little country music and a novel. I can stop reading when I want and continue it whenever I have free time. I do not need to concentrate on TV for two hours to watch a film, which often makes me tired.

Futhermore, when you read a novel, you let your imagination work. For instance, when we read a ghost novel, we often image about the dark night, rain, bolt, and even ghost. It makes the story more interesting because you are living in your own feeling. It is just like you are living the life of the character in the book you are reading.

Last but not least, reading books can help you write better. I believe that there are still a lot of people who can not write a coherent essay, a good paragraph to show other what they are really thinking. You can read books more in order to improve your writing skills because it will help you to have better structures, suitable words in different situations to express your feeling and thinking more clearly.
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Please tell me what you think about this essay.
If this is a test, which mark will i get?
Thank you.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and her coach

[Iron Lady]

I lliked this essay very much if I were I would put 27 point, but if I were[/img]

[Kitosdad]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

When one WRITES SOMETHING, such as a novel or a short storY, AND IT becomes famous, its content will be immediately used to make a blockbuster or a 3D cartoon. So, there are a lot of people who love watching movies MORE than reading the BOOK. But with me, reading brings me a lot of new experienceS.

After studying at school, I am always tired and sometimes I have a terrible headache. Therefore, I do not want to watch TV because it is very noisy. I just want to enjoy A quite night with a little country music and a novel. I can stop reading whenEVER I want and continue it whenever I have free time. I do not need to concentrate on TV for two hours to watch a film, which often makes me EVEN MORE tired.

FuRthermore, when you read a novel, you PUT your imagination TO work.
For instance, when we read a ghost novel, we often imagINE dark nightS, rain, THUNDER-boltS, and even ghostS.
It makes the story YOU ARE READING more interesting because you are living inSIDE your own feelingS. It is AS THOUGH you are living the life of the character in the book you are reading.

Last but not least, reading books can help you write better. I believe that there are still a lot of people who (cannot- ONE WORD) write a coherent essay OR EVEN a good paragraph to show otherS what they are really thinking.
You can read books more in order to improve your writing skills because it will help you to COMPOSE better structures, suitable words in different situations to express your feelingS and TO think more clearly.
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A little short but pretty good. You should score 7/10

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Demon]

Thanks for all of your comments.
It encourages me to write better next time.
I am still have a lot of small mistakes. :(( I will try to improve it next time.
Kitos, can you please check my essay: Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Noone checks that essay and give my advice.
Again, thanks for your help

[Kitosdad]

OK.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.