TOEFL® essay on distance learning and online classes

[Cekop]

Do you agree or disagree with the following situation? Distance Learning and online computer classes should replace classroom learning. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Due to the rapidly improving technology during the past two decades, the use of computer technology and internet became very common whole around the world. One of the most useful benefits of this improvement is the one about the education. Learning from a people who is very far can be maintained with those technologies, and internet classes instead of schools can be established. In my opinion these new technologies are going to be the method of education in the future because, it can help to avoid the great expenses of education materials, can provide visual materials and communication capabilities of traditional education can also be supported.

First of all, it is a fact that the population of the world is increasing excessively. The necessity of the sources is increasing whereas the source is decreasing. The education of all these populations is a must but it is hard to afford the materials such as buildings, facilities, papers and books. The use of cyber books and meetings can avoid these necessity of "hard materials" and the education of big amounts of people can be possible.

Secondly; the computer technology gives a great opportunity to use visualization of knowledge. For instance the experiments can be recorded by the lecturers and then watched by the students. In advance the theoretical background which is hard to understand can be simulated via this technology. It is a fact that the visual memory of the individual is greater than the written memory.

Thirdly; the communication capabilities of the traditional education can be claimed as a uncomparable. However it should be remained that, the internet technology can maintain the image and voice transformation, which will cause to communicate with the lecturer just in time, live. Furthermore, the lectures can be recorded in order to repeat and listen the class again. This is a feature that cannot be satisfied with traditional methods.

Consequently; the importance of education will increase in the future due to the increasing population of the world. Computer and internet technologies can help humanity to avoid the expenses of education, and to create better visualizations. At the same time these new methods are satisfying the advances of traditional methods.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students (1)

[Exp.expo]

Your organization of your opinion and supporting points are up to the standards of TOEFL.
In addition to your supporting points, you can provide some real time examples.

[Mixmixi]

Hi Cekop,
Your ideas seem good. It seems a fairly good essay to me but with numbers of grammatical errors. Please wait for Kitos's corrections, I hope they help you a lot. :-)

Mixmixi
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.

[Mixmixi]

Opps double post! (I am sorry it was an error from my browser. Please one the moderators delete this for me.)
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.

[Kitosdad]

Due to the rapidly improving technology during the past two decades, the use of computer technology and THE Internet HAS becOme very common whole around the world. One of the most useful benefits of this improvement is the one about/REGARDING/IN REGARD TO/ the education. Learning from a people/ANOTHER PERSON/ who is very far /AWAY/FROM YOU/can be maintained with those technologies, and Internet classes instead of schools can be established.
In my opinion these new technologies are going to be the method of education in the future because, it can help to avoid the great expenses of education materials, can provide visual materials and communication capabilities of traditional education can also be supported.

First of all, it is a fact that the population of the world is increasing excessively. The necessity/DESPERATE NEED/ of the sources is increasing whereas the source is decreasing.
The education of all these populations is a must but it is hard to afford the materials such as buildings, facilities, papers and books. The use of cyber books and meetings can avoid these THE necessity of "hard materials" and the education of big/HUGE amounts of people can NOW be MADE possible/AVAILABLE.

Secondly; the computer technology gives/PROVIDES/ a great opportunity to use THE visualization of knowledge. For instance, the experiments can be recorded by the lecturers and then watched by the students. In advance, the theoretical background which is hard to understand, can be simulated via this technology. It is a fact that the visual memory of the individual is greater than the written memory.

Thirdly; the communication capabilities of the traditional education can be claimed as a (I)ncomparable. However it should be remained/REMEMBERED that, the (I)nternet technology can maintain the image and voice transformation, which will cause/PERMIT THE STUDENT/ to communicate with the lecturer /just in time, live/REAL-TIME.
Furthermore, the lectures can be PRE-recorded in order to BE repeatED and listenED TO BY the class again. This is a feature that cannot be satisfied with traditional methods.

Consequently; the importance of education will INEVITABLY increase in the future due to the increasing population of the world. Computer and (I)nternet technologies can help humanity to avoid the expenses of education, and to create better visualizations. At the same time these new methods are satisfying the advances of traditional methods.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An excellent essay Cecop. Interesting and informative.

Please remember the "Internet" is a Proper Noun and should be spelled with a capital I when used.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Cekop]

Thank you very much for your help Kitos. I'll try to keep my attention on grammer, while writing the essay.

cecop

[Sudhatr]

Can someone rate my essay?

Of all the development that the world has witnessed, Internet has been the most powerful invention which has touched millions of people living across the globe. Today, literally Internet has shrunk the world. It has touch almost every aspect of our lives. As the author has raised the question that distance education and online education should replace classroom learning, I would like to establish couple of things before I disect the statement. Education for an adult using sophisticated medium such as online or a distance learning would be welcomed. However, the same would not be effective for children. Though the famous saying goes that change is the most constant element in the world, I insist that there are certain values that cannot be sacrificed for the sake of change.

I feel every child should be taught in a classroom environment. A classroom environment not only helps him to acquire knowledge but also aids him to appreciate human relations. Given the fast growing world, every child needs to imbibe the competitiveness in him so as to sell himself in the future world. Also, a classroom milieu helps the child to learn better. He is exposed to his peers way of understanding and analysing various subjects. Thus expands his way of looking at subjects

A very traditional way of teaching followed in India is known as Gurukul. In this system the children are sent to the teacher's abode and are made to learn. This way of teaching has proven to be the most effective as the teacher not just teaches different concepts of science and maths but teaches different moral value. Thus a teacher has a role more than just imparting bookish knowledge to the child. To a child, teacher is the first role model, who creates a great impact in his life and leaves a impression that lasts for his life time.

Thus from a children education point of view, I strongly believe that education should be followed by the tradition way of rendition. The sophisticated methods has a plethora of disadvantages. It creates a lack of human environment and thus makes it challenging for children to interact with people. Further it curbs the competitiveness and kills the inquisitiveness in a child. Though learning does not just stop at classroom, it does horn multiple skills in a child.

[Mixmixi]

...
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.

[Kitosdad]

Can someone rate my essay?

Of all the HUMAN developmentS that the world has witnessed, THE Internet has been the most powerful AND INNOVATIVE invention THAT has touched millions of people living across the globe. Today,THE Internet has literally shrunk the world.
It has touchED almost every aspect of our lives. As the author has raised the question that distance education and on-line education should replace classroom learning, I would like to establish A couple of things before I disSect the statement. Education; for an adult TO BE ABLE TO USE sophisticated mediumS such as on-line or distance learning would be MOST welcome. However, the same MEDIUM would not be effective for children. /Though/AS/ the famous saying goes, "change is the most constant element in the world", I insist that there are certain values that /cannot/SHOULD NOT/ be sacrificed /SIMPLY/THOUGHTLESSLY/ for the sake of change.

I feel every child should be taught in a classroom environment. A classroom environment not only helps him to acquire knowledge but also /aids/HELPS/TEACHES/ him to appreciate human relations.
Given the fast growing world, every child needs to imbibe the competitiveness INHERENT WITHin him so as to sell himself in the future world.
Also, a classroom milieu helps the child to learn better. He is exposed to his peers way of understanding and analysing various subjects. Thus HE expands his way of looking at subjects

A very traditional way of teaching followed in India is known as Gurukul. In this system the children are sent to the teacher's abode and are made to learn. This way of teaching has proven to be the most effective as the teacher not /just/ONLY/ teaches different concepts of science and maths, but teaches different moral valueS. Thus a teacher has a role more than just imparting bookish knowledge to the child. To a child, THE teacher is the first role model, who creates a great /impact/IMPRESSION/ in/ON his life and leaves a impression that lasts for his life time.

Thus from a CHILD'S educationAL point of view, I strongly believe that education should be followed /by/IN/ the traditionAL way of rendition. The sophisticated methods has a plethora of disadvantages. It creates a lack of human environment and thus makes it challenging for THE children to interact with OTHER people. Further it curbs the competitiveness and kills the inquisitiveness in a child. Though learning does not just stop at classroom, it does HONE multiple skills in a child.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A good essay Sudhatr.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Sudhatr]

Thanks Kitos - a great help!

[Kitosdad]

Please do as Mix suggests and post your work as a "New Topic" next time, otherwise it might get overlooked.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.