Hi everyone, please check my essay for grammar error and organization

[Nato]

Teenagers’ Life in America and in Guinea

All over the world teenagers is going through similar changes.

Their bodies change into adult bodies; their sexuality are

develop and they often experience difficulty during this period.

However, American teenagers go too far in their behavior; they are

quite different from Guinea’s teens. They don’t have

respect for anybody. Another difference American teens have is

concerns for their freedom; moreover, they spend too much money on

clothing and gadgets.

Firstly, American teenagers don’t care about respect for others.

however, I can’t say all American teenagers are disrespectful, but too

many of them seem to be. When it comes to respecting and to

obeying their parents rules, you can’t believe how American teens

behave. Sometimes they aren’t to blame because the law said parents

are not allowed to beat their own children, so the government have

give children the power. American teens are lousy, and every little

word that comes from their mouth is mixed with abusive words; they

can not talk without curse words, which is very rude.

Secondly, American teenagers want a lot of freedom, they do

whatever they want. American teens spend most of their time talking

with friends on the phone, or watching T.V, surfing internet, listening

to music. They doing nothing around the house, such as house hold

chores. They sleep over friends houses, or anywhere they feel like it,

and stay up late at night. Partying with friends all the times. They

even bring their boyfriends to home. Their favorite thing is spending

money. After school, instead of going home, they go straight to the mall

to spend some money. Buying every new fashion clothes or shoes. It

is not like they don’t have enough clothes or shoes. Actually, they do.

The truth is American teenagers love spending money on clothing. And

to the latest technology. Such as play station 3, Nintendo DS, PSP, I

phone ipod, MP3 player, so on.

In my country, Guinea, teens behave different from

American teens. Their duty is to obey and please their parents.

Guinea’s teens are very humble and respectful. They spend most of

their time doing house chores, and never go out without their parent

permission. They don’t stay up late at night or go to parties all

the time. Sometimes they go to parties, but there is rules.

Before going out with friends, they make sure they do all their house

chores.

Secondly, they know how to manage money because it is not

easy to get, so they don’t spend money however. They have to work

hard for their money. Even they have money they don’t doing

shopping all the time, like going to the mall buy clothes or shoes.

Some teenagers give their money to their parents because parents may

need that money more than the teenagers, for shelter and foods.

To conclude, teenagers around the world behave

the same in some cases. However, American teenagers are beyond the

limit, according to the way they treat their parents and other people.

That is very unlike Guinea teenagers because everything they do is

to please their parents and respect others. Growing up doesn’t mean

being mean and cruel to others or challenging your parents. Being a

teenager is a special time in our lives; however, teenagers need to

learn how to behave. And to make that period of time more special.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does the professor say about utopian socialists?

[Kitosdad]

Teenagers’ LIVES in America and Guinea

All over the world teenagers ARE going through similar changes.

Their bodies ARE changING into adult bodies; their sexuality IS

develoING and they often experience difficultIES during this period.

However, American teenagers go too far in their behavior; they are

quite different from Guinea’s teens. They don’t have

respect for anybody.

Another difference American teens have is

concerns for their freedom; moreover, they spend too much money on

clothing and gadgets.

Firstly, American teenagers don’t care about respect for others.

However, I can’t say all American teenagers are disrespectful, but too

many of them seem to be. When it comes to respecting and to

obeying their parents rules, you can’t believe how American teens

behave. Sometimes they aren’t to blame because the law SAYS THAT parents

are not allowed to beat their own children, so the government have

GIVE children the power TO CHILDREN.

MOST American teens are lousy, and every little

word that comes from their mouth is mixed with abusive words; they

cannot talk without USING curse words, which is very rude.

Secondly, American teenagers want a lot of freedom, they WANT TO do

whatever they want. American teens THEY spend most of their time talking

with friends on the phone, or watching T.V, surfing THE Internet AND listening

to music. They doing nothing around the house, such as (household)

chores. They sleep over AT THEIR friends houses, or anywhere they feel like it, and THEY stay up late at night partying with friends all the times.

They even bring THEIR boyfriends to their homeS.

Their favorite PASTIME is spending money. After school, instead of going home, they go straight to the mall to spend some money, buying every new fashion clothes or shoes.

It is not like they don’t have enough clothes or shoes. Actually, they do.

The truth is American teenagers love spending money on clothing, and

ON the latest technology. Such as Play-station 3, Nintendo DS, PSP, I

phone Ipod, MP3 playerS, so on.

In my country, Guinea, teens behave differentLY from

American teens. Their duty is to obey and please their parents.

Guinea’s teens are very humble and respectful. They spend most of

their time doing house chores, and never go out without their parentS

permission. They don’t stay up late at night or go to parties all

the time. Sometimes they go to parties, but there ARE rules.

Before going out with friends, they make sure they do all their house

chores.

Secondly, they know how to manage money because it is not

easy to get, so they don’t spend money, however they have to work

hard for their money. Even WHEN they have money they don’t GO

shopping all OF the time, like going to the mall, buyING clothes AND shoes.

Some teenagers give their money to their parents because parents may

need that money more than the teenagers for shelter and food.

To conclude, teenagers around the world behave

the same in some cases. However, American teenagers are beyond the

limit, according to the way they treat their parents and other people.

That is very unlike Guinea teenagers because everything they do is

to please their parents and respect others. Growing up doesn’t mean

being mean and cruel to others or challenging your parents. Being a

teenager is a special time in our lives, however teenagers need to

learn how to behave, and to make that period of time more special.
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An excellent essay Nato. You should score highly for work of this calibre. Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Nato]

Thank you so much Kitos, you are so kind.

[Kitosdad]

My pleasure Nato.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.