New topic: Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improve t

[Demon]

With the modern technology, it brings with it many advantages. With those advances, human lives have changed dramatically. In some aspects, life is better, but it still has some drawbacks. Changes in food preparation methods, for example, has bad effects on our lives.

It is true that we can easily buy fast food at the store for our dinner. It takes us less time to prepare but we still have a good meal. But if you take time to look at the ingredients, you will be shocked when you realized that the ingredients are including preservatives ands artifical flavorings, which we called poisonous chemicals. Futhermore, fast food has too much fat and calorie with minimal nutrients, which is causing obesity, fatigue, etc. As a consequence, we do not have enough nutritions to resist against diseases, so our health becomes worse.

In addition, having meals together is not only because we are hungry but it is also a time for family to sit together. Enjoying meals with other members of our families is always a precious time with everybody. In the meals, we can talk about our work, our problems, and the latest news. So, our family relationships will becomes stronger.

Last but not least, the most important reason why I cannot agree with above statement is that cooking is an art which is dying out. It was a mean of eliminating the stress and tension, escaping from our problems in the real life. Depending on the perspective of each one, we can adding more salt, chilli, sugar,etc, which makes our food become special. And the final things we need to do is decorating the plates and enjoying a hot, delicious dinner with our family. It is great?

To sum up, although food has become easier to prepare, it saves more time for us. But with me, the time that others think is not necessary and needs to be eliminated here is a precious time with my family, which I will not exchange for anything else in the world.
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Please rate my essay and tell me your opinion
I really appreciate it.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an American History class

[Kitosdad]

Modern technologICAL ADVANCES HAVE BROUGHT US many advantages, FOR WITH those advances human lives have changed dramatically.
In some aspects, OUR LIVES ARE better, but THE CHANGES HAVE ALSO BROUGHT some drawbacks.
FOR EXAMPLE; changes in food preparation methods, has HAD A bad effect on our lives.

It is true that we can easily buy fast food at the store for our MEALS.
It NOW takes us less time to prepare but we CAN still have a good meal.
But if you WERE TO take time AND look at the ingredients, you WOULD be shocked TO FIND that the ingredients includE preservatives and artifical flavoringS, which we USUALLY CONSIDER TO BE poisonous chemicals.
Futhermore, fast food CONTAINS too much fat and TOO MANY calorieS with minimal nutrients, which ARE A MAJOR causE OF obesity, fatigue, etc.
As a consequence, we do not have enough nutriANTS IN OUR BODIES TO BUILD A resistANCE against diseases, so our health worseNS.

In addition, having meals together is not THE only REASON FOR EATING. It is also a time for familIES to sit together.
Enjoying meals with other members of our families is always a precious time FOR everybody. AT MEAL-TIMES we can talk about our work, our problems, and the latest news. So, our family relationships become stronger.

Last but not least, the most important reason AS TO WHY I cannot agree with THE above statement, is that cooking is an art which is dying out.
COOKING IS A WAY of eliminating the stress and tension IN OUR DAILY ROUTINES, A MEANS OF escaping from our problems in the real life.

Depending on the ACQUIRED TASTE of OUR FAMILY we can add more salt, chilli, sugar, etc, which makes our MEAL MORE TASTY AND SATISFYING.
And the final thing we need to do is TO decoratE the plates BEFORE enjoying a hot, delicious MEAL with our family.

To sum up, food has become easier to prepare. It saves us TIME.
But FOR me, the time SAVED that others think is not necessary and needs to be eliminated, IS FOR ME precious time, TIME THAT I CAN NOW SPEND with my family, which I WOULD not exchange for anything else in the world.
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Good morning Demon. Your summing up leaves me, the reader, undecided as to whether you are in favour of fast foods or not. You extol the virtues of home cooking but appear to accept the risks of using fast food which enables you to spend more time with your family members.
However, your essay was good, but you have reached a point where we expect better work from you.

Kitos. 7/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Demon]

^^, i realize that now.
But i mean that although it costs us more time when we prepare food, we can have more time to be with our family. So do you have any suggestion which points in my essay need to be corrected to make it clear?

[Kitosdad]

Hi Demon. Well, I've said many times before, it is wise to jot down your opinions on the subject being discussed, both positive and negative. (You may need only one if you are not being asked to draw comparisons.)

Rank them in an order of importance and then state each one to its completion.
This way the reader has no uncertainty about your opinion/s

I know that you only have thirty minutes in your exam, but this only takes a few moments, and then you can enlarge on each point as you compile your essay.

This is far preferable to just writing down random thoughts as they occur.

It gives your reader/listener an easy transition through the topic, and appeals to the reader.

Helpful, I hope.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.