Distnace Learning

[Parajuli]

Hi Kiti,

Could you go throughly my essay and do the rating

Parajuli

Because of the accelerated development in the information technology, to world becomes smaller and smaller in day by day. The methodology and procedure just before has been replaced by new ones. It is also observed in the educational system and methodology, it is rapidly increased especially the distance and computer learning methodology over last decades. This system seems to be popular for some particular types of students, where as some of the students criticize over the whole methodology and quality. Naturally, it has also some advantages and disadvantages, but my preference echoes to the supporter because of the following reasons.
Every student wants to enroll in the good and reputed university and colleges, because it is the gate way for the future career. But think in that way, what they can do ? If they are living far from that university. They are unable to come and pursue that course because it take the huge amount of money, not only the tuition fee, others associated cost with this like living and eating . Sometime, even they are unable to come because of migration policy. It is frequently happen to developing world’s students who want to pursue degree in American university. They did not get visa from embassy. For this, they have the only way to get the university’s degree from distance programme. They only need a computer and internet facilities.
This progarmme is also popular to those who already hold some jobs elsewhere, and they do not want to leave it. But they want to enhance their skill and knowledge in particular field. They have the best option this methodology. I have one friend who is working PBM as a programmer. In very first time in his work, he feels, he needs to enhance some skill in hardware field. But he is unable to leave the job because of economic region. Then he enrolled in the distance learning and gets the degree from the university. Now he is good and efficient workers in PBM. However some times, this procedure is very much problematic especially for the course which needs the practicum.
Overall, this method of pursuing the degree from the college and university becomes more popular day by day. Even though there are some disadvantages especially the quality and the course which need the real practical. But the advantages because of the busyness of the people, resource scarcity overweigh the disadvantages.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an arts class

[Kitosdad]

Good morning Parajuli. Your essay, whilst being quite good, lacks in simplicity. I found reading it to be confusing and boring. No doubt you have a good vocabulary, but you too, like many others, are overusing it.
You are ignoring the very things that would make your work interesting and informative; articles and prepositions. These are far more important than long words, even when used in the correct context.
Either you are trying to quickly compose your essay without deep thought, or you are completely unaware of their importance in writing. Concentrate on honing your skills in using these. Your work will immediately show a vast improvement.

Kitos. 7.5/10
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Parajuli]

Hi Kito,

From your suggestion, I think with cool mind and try to write again. Could you edit it and give me the feedback. It helps me lot.

Parajuli

Because of the rapid development in the information technology, to world becomes smaller and smaller in day by day. The system and procedure which we used just before has been replaced by new ones. It is also observed in a way of pursuing the university’s degrees and courses. In light, the distance and computer learning methodology is rapidly increased over last decades. This system seems to be very popular for some particular types of students, who are unable to come and attend the classes at the university and college setting. However, some of the students criticize over the whole methodology and raise the question on quality. Naturally, we have to compromise in some negative aspects associated with this system to achieve the other goals.
Every student wants to enroll in the good and reputed university and colleges. It is the gate way to the future career for every one. But think in that way, what they can do ? If they are living far from that university. They are unable to come and pursue that course because it takes the huge amount of money. Besides the tuition fees, there are others direct and indirect costs associated with it eg apartment, food, social events. Moreover, most of the young people from developing world want to pursue their degree from the reputed universities and colleges, especially from the developed countries like USA, Britain, Australia. But they face the barrier even though they have enough money for it, especially because of the migration policy. They didn’t get the visa. In these situations, they have the only way to get the university’s degree through these distances learning programme. They only need a computer and internet facilities.
This progarmme is also popular to those who already hold some jobs in elsewhere. They don’t want to leave the job , but they want to enhance their skill and knowledge in their particular field. In this situation, the best option for them is distance learning. I have one friend who is working PBM as a programmer. In very first time in his work, he felts some gap in his skill on hardware field. He was looking for some opportunities with holding the recent job because of economic region. Then he enrolled in the distance learning and gets the degree from the university. Now he is good and efficient workers in PBM. However some times, this distance learning technique is very problematic especially for those courses which needs the practicum. Fortunately, he did not need it.

Overall, this method of pursuing the degree from the college and university becomes more popular day by day. Even though there are some disadvantages especially the quality of the education, but advantages and facilities overweigh these disadvantages.

[Kitosdad]

I have only read the first paragraph ... and I've given up!
You do have the ability to write, but you lack the ability to write clearly.

The first two sentences indicate to the reader that the remainder will contain the same errors.
That puts anyone off from reading further.
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"Because of the rapid development in the information AND technology, to THE world becomes smaller and smaller in day by day. The systems and procedureS which we used EARLIERjust before has HAVE been replaced by new ones.

This edited sentence, although not perfect, at least presents your work in a clear and understandable form.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.