Any comment is appriciate- Thanks.

[Krrish1192]

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

My town is nice, quiet and safe town. It has big market, schools, college, big hospitals, theater and factories also. It has well developed transportation systems. I have been happy going there on my vacations. In many ways, the town has become a very good place to live in comparison with other cities. If I could change one thing about my hometown, I think it would be the fact that there are no metro parks.

In many ways, parks are considered lung of cities. Metro Park contain, natural things like trees, flower plants, lake, fun and playing area for all kind of people. In my town, people are frequently change jobs and move on. Just because they are thinking that my town did not have any good area for picnic or for fun. Parks are those places which indirectly help to clean town’s environment. Parks contain lots of trees and plants which absorb carbon dioxide and give fresh oxygen.

In addition, our children need safe, quite and fresh places to study, exercise and of course for playing. In my town, children are playing games on pavements or in the house. This is the only place they can choose because of no availability of parks. Obviously playing games on pavements is inconvenient and also dangerous for children. Because of the parks, they get good places for playing as well as get a chance to be close to nature.

Furthermore, metro parks bring some attraction to people like picnic point, water ride, and playgrounds for games and fun. People are attracting to this place because of its features and this spot may become tourism attraction. By this way my town gets some attention to people.

In short, I believe that my hometown should have more parks instead of more and more buildings and factories, purely because of their important role to our living environment. It is also good for children to learn and get environment outside of their home. Parks are not only good for my home town but also for modern cities.

Hi kitos. I just thought a different topic for this essay. I do not know whether my point is strong or not. Please guide me.-Thanks

TOEFL listening lectures: Which event or development did not strongly influence the history of bread?

[Kitosdad]

My town is A nice, quiet and safe town. It has big market, schools, college, big hospitals, theatRE and factories also. It has well developed transportation systems. I have been happy going there on my vacations. In many ways, the town has become a very good place to live in comparison with other cities. If I could change one thing about my home-town, I think it would be the fact that there are no metro parks.

In many ways, parks are considered THE lungS of cities. Metro Park contain natural things like trees, flower plants, lakeS, fun and playing area for all kind of people. In my town, people are frequently changING jobs and movING on. Just because they are thinking that my town did not have any good area for picnicS or for fun.
Parks are those places which indirectly help to clean THE town’s environment. Parks contain lots of trees and plants which absorb carbon dioxide and give fresh oxygen.

In addition, our children need safe, QUIET and fresh places to study, exercise and of course for playing. In my town, children are playing games on pavements or in the house. This is the only place they can choose because of no availability of parks. Obviously playing games on pavements is inconvenient, and also dangerous for children. Because of the parks, they get good places for playing as well as get a chance to be close to nature.

Furthermore, metro parks bring some attraction to people like picnic pointS, water rideS, and playgrounds for games and fun. People are attractED to this place because of its features and this spot may become A tourisT attraction. IN this way my town gets some attention FROM people.

In short, I believe that my home-town should have more parks instead of more and more buildings and factories, purely because of their important role to our living environment. It is also good for children to learn and get environment outside of their home. Parks are not only good for my home town but also for modern cities.

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I thought your essay was quite good Krrish. Hopefully you have followed my advice and spent some time reading,, which has improved your sentence structure, I hope so anyway.
I think you deserve an eight for your extra efforts.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Krrish1192]

Hi, kitos.
You are my sir and I am always follow your advise.
Yes, I read lots of essay and think how they differ from my essay?
It gives me idea about my sentence structure.
I am trying to write a good essay.

Thank for your guidance kitos.
It always help me.