Would you be so kind as to assess this essay?

[Samiralbayati]

What discovery in last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country?

We live in a competitive world,naturally people love competition and race each other,because of these features we carry in our genes when we born until we die,we surely become jealous from other clever people and promote,motivate our selves to do our best to success in this competitive era by diving in discoveries deeply as possible as we can.

Actually, in the last one hundred years ago,discoveries in my country were to limited,because of dominance of illiteracy,and poor economy,which means that employees receive quite little salaries,with many troubles they put themselves in before getting their incoming.

many problems my country had exposed,for instance wars,economy blockade,all of these miserable effects had restricted our scientists from developing their country by discoveries or rather seeking for precious minerals,our Babylon's civilisation and the lifestyle of the previous generations .

Absolutely,I consider the discovery of fields of oil is the most important one,as I mentioned above my country was suffered from economy blockade,this discovery really rescued,and brought many companies from different countries to invest this wealth of oil our county own,this really had changed our life dramatically,in various aspects of life,like increasing the life rate ,salaries ,built many contractions, like schools,offices,hospitals.

As well as,the most significant matter is that these fields were in there increase,and gradually became numerous.

When it comes to the benifits we got from this investment,I have to mention that it transformed our life,and enhance our partnership with other countries,open doors to student to travel aboard neither on their own money or on their government by grants,scholarship programs.

To sum up,this discovery of oil was essential to my country help us to develop our knowledge,experience and open our minds to invest more and more,in order to achieve our goals in life and succeed.

TOEFL listening discussions: How many chemicals are required for the girl's experiment?

[Kitosdad]

We live in a competitive world IN WHICH people love competition and race each other.
Because of these features WHICH we carry in our genes when we born until we die,we surely become jealous OF other, MORE cleverER people and promote
ourselves to do our best to SUCCEED in this competitive era by diving inTO NEW discoveries AS deeply as WE possiblY can.

Actually, in the last one hundred years ago, discoveries in my country were TOO limited because of THE dominance of illiteracy and THE poor economy, which means that employees receiveD quite SMALL salaries,with many troubles they put themselves in AND HAD MANY PROBLEMS TO ACTUALLY RECEIVE THEIR SALARIES. :before getting their incoming.

MY country WAS EXPOSED TO MANY PROBLEMS, for instance wars, economy blockade, all of these miserable effects had restricted our scientists from developing their country WITH discoveries or rather seeking for precious minerals, our BabylonIC civilisation and the lifestyle of the previous generations CONTINUED UNALTERED .

I consider the discovery of fields of oil AS BEING the most important DISCOVERY.

As I mentioned above my country was sufferING from economy blockade, BUT this discovery really rescued S ,and brought many companies from different countries to invest IN this wealth of oil WHICH our county ownED. This really HAS changed our life dramatically, in various aspects of life, like increasing the life rate, salaries, AND THE ERECTION OF MANY BUILDINGS, like schools, offices AND hospitals.

IN ADDITION TO THIS,the most significant matter WAS that these fields were numerous!

When it comes to the benEfits we got from this investment, I have to mention that it transformed our LIVES, and enhanceD our partnershipS with other countries, openED doors to studentS to travel aboard either on their own money or on their government grants AND scholarship programs.

To sum up, this discovery of oil was essential to my country. IT HAS helpED us to develop our knowledge, experience and open our minds to invest more and more in order to achieve our goals in life and succeed.
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You need to increase your vocabulary a little, and to correct your punctuation error on not leaving a space after using a comma, otherwise this was a decent essay.

Kitos. 6.5/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Samiralbayati]

Thank you very much Kitosdad.
I appreciate your help,god bliss you.