can someone please grade my sentences?

[Learnin_Is_Rael_Important]

1. When Pan saw King Kamahameaha, he ran for his life.

2. YHWH, The Creator of The Universe, said, "not even his only begotten son would know the time of Armageddon."

3. When the angels saw the women on the earth, they said, "Let us lay down with these women."

4. Jason, who was killed in the late 1990s, really cared about his people.

5. War, Asa, is based on deception.

6. Jake, go back to your land!

7. Before the twins were born, it was prophesied that the elder would serve the younger.

8. When Jacob went to the store, he bought steak, potatoes, lettuce, onions, and butter.

9. Laban wanted Jacob to take Leah, but Jacob loved Rachel.

10. King Saul killed many nations, but King David killed a lot more.

11. When the son of YHWH returns, many of us will be off guard.

12. After the fall of Babylon, YHWH will rule the earth again.

13. Because King Amaziyah worshipped the idols, he was put to do death.

14. King Amaziyah, who was a ruler of Israel for years, was killed for worshipping false gods.

15. When Levi and Benjamin heard that their sister was raped, they killed Hamor, Shechem, and the Hivites.

someone please let me know if its right or wrong.......

[Wanderer]

Your grammar is quite good. In some sentence, just correct It was prophesied...by using it had been prophesied.... Other mistakes are of vocabulary, spelling and expression and I think you can find them out yourself.
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Let my English be checked!

[Learnin_Is_Rael_Important]

[Wanderer]

We usually say on earth rather than on the earth, had worshipped, had been the ruler.
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Let my English be checked!

[Learnin_Is_Rael_Important]