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The Turkish Holiday.



 
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My first voice message | The Turkish holiday. (Part two.)
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The Turkish Holiday. #1 (permalink) Fri Apr 09, 2010 20:28 pm   The Turkish Holiday.
 

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Part one of a two part story from Kitos. I do hope you enjoy reading it, and I would welcome any comments, good or bad.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Charlie Somers hung his jacket in the hall and walked wearily into the kitchen where his wife Maureen was busy preparing their evening meal.
He drew out a chair and sat down with a sigh.
"Hard day love?" asked his wife.
"They are all hard days nowadays," he gloomily replied.
"Well, get this down you, and then you'll feel better" she said cheerfully, putting a heaped plate before him.
Charlie tucked-into his meal, and then sat back contentedly when he had finished.
"That was good," he said as he stretched his weary body.
"I've been thinking about our holidays Charlie," said Maureen. "This will be our twenty-fifth anniversary this year and maybe, just for a change, we might consider going abroad."
"Abroad?" said Charlie in a puzzled tone. "What's wrong with the caravan holiday we always have?"
"Oh, nothing love, but I just thought it would be nice to enjoy some reliable weather for a change, and to visit somewhere exotic instead of Whitby as we usually do."
Charlie thought this over. He liked Whitby and the caravan. His brain raced trying to find a plausible objection to his wife's idea.
"Well, it will be damned expensive you know," he finally offered.
"I've collected some holiday brochures today,and we can easily afford some of the special offers they are giving," Maureen quietly replied.
Charlie grudgingly leafed through some of the colourful brochures, and he had to admit that they were attractive, and they appeared to offer very good value for the money they were asking.
"Well, where would you like to go?"
"Turkey," she replied without hesitation. "I've always wanted to go there."
Charlie considered this for a moment before agreeing.
"OK love, if it makes you happy Turkey's where we'll go, but don't be expecting to go out buying loads of new clothes to parade around in," he added.
"Oh, I won't do that love, I can buy them when we get there, everybody says it's so cheap there."

The next Saturday found them both heading for Newcastle Airport. Having paid-off the taxi they headed into the large reception hall only to find a long queue waiting at the check-in point.
Charlie was already under pressure. He hated to queue, and Maureen, sensing his agitation, sent him to the restaurant to have a cup of coffee and to calm down.
Thirty minutes later Charlie returned to find Maureen almost at the check-in counter. She was relieved to find he was in a better frame of mind. They checked their baggage and proceeded to the departure lounge, but not before having to pass through the scanner where Charlie complained bitterly at having to remove his shoes.
"Come on love, we will soon be on the plane."
Maureen did her best to placate him.
A short while later their boarding announcement was made and they hurried to the waiting aircraft.
Again Charlie was angry to be told to "hurry along as the plane is about to depart."
"Bloody cheek, he fumed. We've sat there for nearly two hours, and then they tell us to hurry up!"
After boarding the plane they were in for yet another shock. They were seated separately.
Charlie's face was like thunder. He sat near the window and stared ahead frostily.
What a bloody fiasco this is turning into, he thought to himself.
Maureen quickly opened her book and started to read, feigning surprise that anything was amiss.
The flight took nearly three hours, and Charlie was very irritable not being able to smoke for so long a period.
Finally they touched down, and at last Charlie raised a smile.
It was nice and sunny outside. As soon as he stepped onto the runway tarmac the heat hit him.
"Jesus, I didn't think it would be this hot," he gasped looking at Maureen.
"Yes, isn't this better than Whitby? Wait till you see the hotel. The lady sitting next to me said she'd been there before and it's lovely."
"Oh Charlie, we are going to have a wonderful holiday."
Charlie just smiled and said nothing in return. Somehow things never went quite the way they were intended to.

Kitos.
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Kitosdad
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The Turkish Holiday. #2 (permalink) Sat Apr 10, 2010 13:38 pm   The Turkish Holiday.
 

You've certainly succeeded in doing what the first part of a good story should for me, Kitos. This has raised so many questions that I want answered, that I can't wait to find out what Charlie is now thinking!
Short stories are notoriously difficult to write, because you have to develop the characters really quickly in order to make the reader care what happens to them. I think that the speedy character development is one of the strengths of this particular story. We understand what Charlie and Maureen are like as people, and what their relationship is like with each other.
I also admire the way you developed Charlie's deepening mood. (Typical man! ;D )

One tiny oversight on your part, I believe... in the transcript there are a couple of commas missing from the ends of the direct speech.

What an engaging story for such an apparently mundane topic! I'm looking forward to part 2.
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The Turkish Holiday. #3 (permalink) Sat Apr 10, 2010 14:02 pm   The Turkish Holiday.
 

Thanks BN. I am so happy that we settled our differences so amicably, and so quickly. We probably would have both lost a good friend if we hadn't done so. If only the rest of the world could do the same.
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Kitosdad
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13417
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)

The Turkish Holiday. #4 (permalink) Sat Apr 10, 2010 16:59 pm   The Turkish Holiday.
 

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Hello kitos ,

As a matter of fact I prefer voice materials rather than text materials .

But I don't know the reason why can't I understand you easily?!!

May be because you speak a little fast !!

I don't know

Abdo
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Joined: 10 Feb 2010
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The Turkish Holiday. #5 (permalink) Sun Apr 11, 2010 11:43 am   The Turkish Holiday.
 

Just started to reading the triple. Will share my opinion in the conclusion part, LOL. Really excited to read it. :-)

Mixmixi
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Mixmixi
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The Turkish Holiday. #6 (permalink) Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:10 pm   The Turkish Holiday.
 

I can understand what you told me about my story now. I felt that mine is like a piece of rubbish against yours after reading the first part, my friend, LOL! What a variety of adjectives you have used in your story. I think mine was too much sophisticated, LOL.
Ok, regarding to first chapter, I want to ask what's the meaning of "tucking-into the meal"?

P.S: I've jot down about twenty new words that I never them heard before. All were new adjectives!
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Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.
Mixmixi
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 21 Dec 2009
Posts: 710
Location: A better place to be

The Turkish Holiday. #7 (permalink) Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:13 pm   The Turkish Holiday.
 

"tucking-into the meal" LOL. it means he really was going to enjoy it, or he was already enjoying it, as he knew he would.

Good morning Mix. I'm glad you are finding something new in the work of your old friend.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.
Kitosdad
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13417
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)

The Turkish Holiday. #8 (permalink) Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:57 pm   The Turkish Holiday.
 

Thank you Kitos,
Yeah the story is really interesting and exciting for me, not just because of its story-line, because it's full of new words and phrased that I dreamed about! Please sometime do write short stories for us. :-)

P.S: You are not OLD, you are my big ... , LOL. I hope you can fill the blank as well. :-)

Mixmixi
_________________
Let's make a deal; I'll correct every single one of your grammatical mistakes AND YOU DO THE SAME FAVOUR FOR ME.
Mixmixi
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 21 Dec 2009
Posts: 710
Location: A better place to be

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