Convincing acquaintances to learn my native language. (Independent writing)

[Dennyluqman]

Please, rate my writing Mr. Kitos

Prompt:
Your new acquaintance is thinking about studying your native language. How would you convince him or her that this would be a good decision? use specific reasons and details in your response.

Response:
My language is Bahasa Indonesia and according to some experts it is newest language that invented by people in the world. Therefore, some foreign people whose language is older than My Language such as English, French, Urdu, and so forth, might think that study Bahasa Indonesia is not important; however, as far as I am concerned, I will still encourage my new acquaintances to learn it for the following reasons.

First of all, study Bahasa Indonesia is very important for them since they will study in Indonesia for the next two years. In fact they will study Indonesia's Culture which required this skill very much. In other words, because of the fact that studying Indonesia's Culture requires them to live among Indonesian citizen, possessing this skill is a must. For example, they will make a conversation while shopping, gathering with house owner and his/her family members, and doing some social activities.

Another reason why study Bahasa Indonesia is very important is because at the last semester of their course they will make a script both in Bahasa Indonesia and in their native language as it is common in all universities in Indonesia. According to my experience, although I am Indonesian, I still have to prepare my thesis in two languages, Bahasa Indonesia and another language which is English.

Last but not least, study Bahasa Indonesia is easy and I can help them. In fact, my people will be very glad to teach it to whoever wants to posses this language skill. For instance, every district in my country provides free Bahasa Indonesia Learning Centre and every people, usually a tourist, can join it.

All in all, I think study Bahasa Indonesia is beneficial to my foreign country friends because it is useful and very important in academic writing, and there are places which provide free learning service.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why are red crosses erected on Tanna Island?

[Kitosdad]

Please, rate my writing Mr. Kitos

Prompt:
Your new acquaintance is thinking about studying your native language. How would you convince him or her that this would be a good decision? use specific reasons and details in your response.

Response:
My language is Bahasa Indonesia and according to some experts it is newest language that invented by people TO HAVE BEEN INTRODUCED TO the world. Therefore, some foreign people whose language is older than my Language such as English, French, Urdu, and so forth, might think that studyING Bahasa IndonesiaN is not important; however, as far as I am concerned, I will still encourage my new acquaintances to learn it for the following reasons.

First of all, TO study Bahasa IndonesiaN is very important for them since they will BE studyING in Indonesia for the next two years. In fact they will study Indonesia's Culture which very much requireS this skill very much. In other words, because of the fact that studying Indonesia's Culture requires them to live among Indonesian citizen, possessing this skill is a must. For example, they will PROBABLY STRIKE UP a conversation while shopping, gathering with MANY house ownerS and THEIR family members, and doing WHILST PERFORMING some social activities.

Another reason why TO study Bahasa IndonesiaN is very important is because at the last semester of their course they will make a script both in Bahasa Indonesia and in their native language as it is common in all universities in Indonesia. According to my experience, although I am Indonesian, I still have to prepare my thesis in two languages, Bahasa Indonesia and another language which is English.

Last but not least, TO study Bahasa IndonesiaN is easy and I can help them. In fact, my people will be very glad to teach it to whoever wants to posses this language skill. For instance, every district in my country provides free Bahasa IndonesiaN TEACHING AT THE Learning Centre and every PERSON, usually a tourist, can join THE CLASSES.

All in all, I think TO study Bahasa IndonesiaN is beneficial to my foreign country friends(,) because it is useful and very important in academic writing, and there are places which provide A free learning service.
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A very interesting and well presented essay Denny. I enjoyed reading it.

Kitos. 8.5/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Dennyluqman]

Thank you, Mr Kitos