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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family


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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #1 (permalink) Sat May 22, 2010 23:20 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

I didn't write introduction and conclusion paragraphs. I wanted to write something on this topic.This page made me think about that.
The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family

Living in a small family might give you the opportunity to be successful since you will be supported financially and emotionally more, providing that you make good use of your chance. Conversely, in a big family you might not receive financially and emotionally support enough. This difficulty might lead someone to commit crime, however, it is a feeble excuse in my book. From personal experience of a friend of mine, growing up in a family of 11 children, living in a large family was a very unpleasant experience. He felt lost in the crowd, suffered low self esteem from constant criticism from his siblings. He told me there is no privacy in his life he can taste. He believes the benefits of a small family outweigh the disadvantages.

On account of the fast that some parents who have one child often spoil him/her rotten in order to provide a comfortable life for him/her which has an adverse effect on their future. Coming from a small family has its disadvantages as well as advantages. From psychological viewpoint, Parents have to encourage a sense of responsibility in their children since children should learn to take responsibility for their own lives in the near future. A spoiled child will not be an autonomous person who is able to tackle the upcoming problem in life. In addition, the adolescents who are dependent on their parents emotionally and financially in any case will not be capable of thinking rationally and make rational decisions. From my point of view, in some case, a strict upbringing will work for children to learn something.

I think it is not advisable to raise large families which is something of an anachronism these days. Times have changed, therefore, our attitudes has to be changed. All children are entitled to have a comfortable life, access to higher education and feed well. From psychologist vantage point, Deprived children tend to do less well at school so how can they continue their education. Moreover, When parents raise a large family, and are unable to discipline them, their children will become noisy, argumentative.

There are some pluses to living in a big family that has to be taken into consideration. The significant merit of living in a big family is that you can learn from other family members of yours and they support and guide you whenever you need. Sometimes you make a small mistake and you don’t dare to tell your parents but you can tell your siblings because they are more comfortable-to-be-with compared with parents.

On the other hand, The interests of the children are different and life would be one of variety and it would be a happy life as variety is the spice of life. Children can learn lot of social skills in their earlier ages and they will have the feeling of responsibility in addition to more love and affection will be there in between family members. A child who has several brother and sister rarely lacks company. I suppose the advantages of being a member of a large family are far too numerous to mention.

Take my life for example which can illustrate the point. We are a family of four and I have only a kid sister who is married and I consult with her whenever I need to. I rather living in a family with moderate amounts of family members. I like everything that I have.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an employee in the student services center
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #2 (permalink) Sun May 23, 2010 6:47 am   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Living in a small family might give you the opportunity to be successful since you will be supported BOTH financially and emotionally more, providing that you make good use of your chance UNIQUENESS. Conversely, in a big family you might not receive financially FINANCIAL OR EMOTIONAL and emotionally support enough. This difficulty might lead someone to commit crimeS, ALTHOUGH THAT WOULD BE a feeble excuse in my book FOR DOING SO.
From personal QUOTING FROM THE experienceS of a friend of mine, growing up in a family of ELEVEN children ALL living in a large family was a very unpleasant experience. He felt lost in the crowd AND suffered low self esteem from RECEIVING constant criticism from his siblings. He told me there WAS no privacy in his life(.) he can taste. He believes the benefits of a small family outweigh the disadvantages.

On account of the faCt that s Some parents who have ONLY one child often spoil him/her rotten in order to provide a comfortable life for him/her(,) which has an adverse effect on their CHILD'S future.

Coming from a small family has its disadvantages as well as advantages.
From A psychological viewpoint, parents have to encourage a sense of responsibility in their children since children should learn to take responsibility for their own lives(.) in the near future.
A spoiled child will not be an autonomous person who is able to tackle the upcoming problemS in his/her life. In addition, the adolescents who are dependAnt on their parents emotionally and financially in any case will not be capable of thinking rationally and make NOR HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE rational decisions. From my point of view, in some case, a strict upbringing will work BETTER IN HELPING children to learn something.

I think it is not advisable to raise large families which is something of an anachronism these days. Times have changed, therefore, our attitudes HAVE ALSO TO CHANGE.to be changed.
All children are entitled to have a comfortable life, HAVE access to higher education and TO BE FED well. From A psychologistS vantage point, deprived children tend to do less well at school so how can they continue their education. Moreover, when parents raise a large family and are unable to discipline them, their children will become noisy AND argumentative.

There are some pluses to living in a big family that SHOULD BE taken into consideration. The significant merit of living in a big family is that you can learn from other family members of yours and they support and guide you whenever you HAVE THE need. Sometimes you make a small mistake and you DO NOT dare to tell your parents(,) but you can tell your siblings(,) because they are more comfortable-to-be-with compared with parents.

On the other hand, t The interests of ALL children are different(,) and life would be one of variety(,) THEREFORE it would be a happy life as variety is the spice of life.
Children can learn A lot of social skills in their earlier YEARS(,) and they will have the feeling of responsibility in addition to more love and affection. will be there in between family members. A child who has several brotherS and sisterS rarely lacks company.
I suppose the advantages of being a member of a large family are far too numerous to mention.

Take my life for example which can illustrate the point. We are a family of four and I have only a kid sister who is married(,) and I consult with her whenever I need to. I WOULD rather LIVE in a SMALLER family with A moderate NUMBER of family members. I like everything that I have.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #3 (permalink) Sun May 23, 2010 6:50 am   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Oooops!
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #4 (permalink) Sun May 23, 2010 17:58 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Thanks a lot for your help.

It takes a long time to be good at writing even for a person who has gotten a score of 25 on the TOEFL test.

In a real exam all takers should try to use grammatical structure, words and expression that they are familiar with. Takers are not expected to be inventive and they are not supposed to be a great writer. They are not required to write the presice viewpoints they have in mind. The questions, in fact, test their ability to use English correctly. (I know how to get a good score in a real writing test.)

I passed the test last year and I'll be a student soon, but this is not what I want. I want to be proficient in English (no matter How long it's gonna take.) and nothing can make me disappointed.

I'm glad to have you here.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #5 (permalink) Sun May 23, 2010 18:10 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

I have the feeling you are already pretty proficient - but if you want to demonstrate proficiency, then I think you need to avoid words like 'gonna'.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #6 (permalink) Sun May 23, 2010 18:42 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

A friend of mine told me you wrote this:
Beeesneees wrote:
I have the feeling you are already pretty proficient - but if you want to demonstrate proficiency, then I think you need to avoid words like 'gonna'.

I would not use the forums if I was proficient.
I wrote it in 2009:
http://www.english-test.net/forum/ftopic44058.html
At the time when I wrote that, you were not a member of this website.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #7 (permalink) Sun May 23, 2010 18:51 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

With regard to being proficient - I meant it as a compliment, not as an insult. I have seen your recent posts and you strike me as having an excellent command of the language for a learner. And in my opinion even a proficient user can learn something from using these forums. I certainly 'learn' as well as 'support'. Being proficient shouldn't be a reason to abandon the forums. Not in my eyes, anyway.

Thank you for drawing my attention to your earlier post. I am even more surprised, in that case, that you chose to use it in your post above. I was trying to be helpful and did not mean to offend. My apologies if I have done so.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #8 (permalink) Mon May 24, 2010 11:54 am   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Beeesneees wrote:
With regard to being proficient - I meant it as a compliment, not as an insult. I have seen your recent posts and you strike me as having an excellent command of the language for a learner. And in my opinion even a proficient user can learn something from using these forums. I certainly 'learn' as well as 'support'. Being proficient shouldn't be a reason to abandon the forums. Not in my eyes, anyway.

Thank you for drawing my attention to your earlier post. I am even more surprised, in that case, that you chose to use it in your post above. I was trying to be helpful and did not mean to offend. My apologies if I have done so.

Thanks.
Strictly speaking, You should not begin a sentence with the word ‘and’. "As a Language Coach and since you are writing on the 'TOEFL forum' you shouldn't have written such a sentence." It is not acceptable in formal writings and in writing tests. perhaps, It is even worse than using ‘gonna’ in an essay.
Conjunctions
Is it acceptable to begin a sentence with the word and or but?
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #9 (permalink) Tue May 25, 2010 19:17 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

WOW, Richard...Do you need to be so strict like that? LOL you are one of the most polished writers I have ever known.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #10 (permalink) Tue May 25, 2010 19:42 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Richard wrote:
Strictly speaking, You should not begin a sentence with the word ‘and’. "As a Language Coach and since you are writing on the 'TOEFL forum' you shouldn't have written such a sentence." It is not acceptable in formal writings and in writing tests. perhaps, It is even worse than using ‘gonna’ in an essay.
Conjunctions
Is it acceptable to begin a sentence with the word and or but?


You are hoist with your own petard there, Richard.
You have provided the proof that in this context it is perfectly acceptable for me to start a sentence with 'and'.

Did you read the paragraph in the blue text box on the first source that you quoted?
A frequently asked question about conjunctions is whether and or but can be used at the beginning of a sentence...
An initial And is a useful aid to writers as the narrative continues.
from The New Fowler's Modern English Usage
edited by R.W. Burchfield. Clarendon Press: Oxford, England. 1996.
Used with the permission of Oxford University Press.
...A sentence beginning with and or but will tend to draw attention to itself and its transitional function. Writers should examine such sentences with two questions in mind: (1) would the sentence and paragraph function just as well without the initial conjunction? (2) should the sentence in question be connected to the previous sentence? If the initial conjunction still seems appropriate, use it.


I chose to split the point into two sentences for clarity, rather than to directly connect them. However, I used the 'and' to indicate continuing narrative.

Then there is the opening of the second source you quote:
Is it acceptable to begin a sentence with the word and or but?
The answer is yes. It is perfectly acceptable to start sentences with the conjunctions and and but. However, it is slightly informal. If formality is your goal, choose more formal language.


Formality was not my goal. I was answering a point in a forum post, not composing a formal essay or sitting/advising on a point in a writing test. In doing so, I try to be friendly and approachable, not formal.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #11 (permalink) Wed May 26, 2010 0:32 am   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Beeesneees wrote:
Formality was not my goal. I was answering a point in a forum post, not composing a formal essay or sitting/advising on a point in a writing test. In doing so, I try to be friendly and approachable, not formal.
In my second post, formality wasn’t my goal, either. I was talking to Kitosdad, not composing an essay. I always use short forms in speaking because I wish to speak like my native speaker friends and I know I shouldn’t use them whenever I wanna make a speech in a class.

By the way, I’m a learner, neither a native speaker of English nor a teacher of it. You know you have the tough job of teaching. With all due respect, you shan't …because students, including me, will learn from what you’re writing and it ain’t … I will believe you if you can prove to me that beginning a sentence with the word 'and' or 'but' is acceptable by ETS.

Shall we stop arguing? I know I'm not doing a nice job to argue with a person who I've learned from... Sorry. I just wanted to learn something new. I'm so sorry.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #12 (permalink) Wed May 26, 2010 7:25 am   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

[quote="Richard"]
Beeesneees wrote:
In my second post, formality wasn’t my goal, either. I was talking to Kitosdad, not composing an essay. I always use short forms in speaking because I wish to speak like my native speaker friends and I know I shouldn’t use them whenever I wanna make a speech in a class.


I'm sorry that you don't appear to be able to see the difference between legitimate informal structure, which shows command over the English language, and street slang, such as 'gotta', 'wanna' and 'ain't', which sounds uninformed, but it's your choice.

(By the way, the comma plus the and together in the above sentence are also appropriate.)

Quote:
By the way, I’m a learner, neither a native speaker of English nor a teacher of it. You know you have the tough job of teaching. With all due respect, you shan't …because students, including me, will learn from what you’re writing and it ain’t … I will believe you if you can prove to me that beginning a sentence with the word 'and' or 'but' is acceptable by ETS.


That paragraph seems slightly confused, so my apologies if I am misinterpreting what you are saying:
You have already provided proof, which I have detailed, that use of 'and' or 'but' at the beginning of a sentence is permissible. I am quite happy that you queried it, as this is what learning is about (though perhaps the query could have been made in a different manner). I would hate learners to simply accept the truth of what a teacher says, just because they say it and encourage my students to challenge me (sometimes by playing the devil's advocate). Whether you accept the point or not, you are now aware that possibly this rule is not so fixed as it first seemed -- so you have learned something from my usage of it. As far as I'm concerned, that's a plus point.

Quote:
Shall we stop arguing? I know I'm not doing a nice job to argue with a person who I've learned from... Sorry. I just wanted to learn something new. I'm so sorry.


That's fine by me. I never had a wish to argue in the first place. I just wanted to help.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #13 (permalink) Wed May 26, 2010 10:20 am   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Beeesneees wrote:
By the way, the comma plus the and together in the above sentence are also appropriate.
By the way = spoken English
Incidentally = formal
BTW = informal
As far as I'm aware, Test takers should not use 'By the way', or 'BTW'. Correct me If I'm wrong.
Beeesneees wrote:
I have seen your recent posts and you strike me as having an excellent command of the language for a learner.And in my opinion even a proficient user can learn something from using these forums.
So, I only have a question:
Do you believe TOEFL (or GRE) test takers can use (the word 'And') in the way you have used in your post and their scores won't suffers from doing so?
I believe that they should use these adverbs instead of using AND:
Furthermore, Moreover
Like: (Moreover, I believe that ....)
As you know, these are used in spoken English:
Besides, also , and what's more, and other thing, and in my book, and in my opinion,

As far as I know, they should use these (However, nevertheless, nonetheless, On the other hand, ) instead of instead of 'but' (to begin a sentence)
And even these conjunctions are better to use instead of 'but':
while, whereas ,whilst
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #14 (permalink) Wed May 26, 2010 10:31 am   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

Plus, I didn't mention this:
Short forms are frequently used in spoken English. If my memory serves me correctly, I had seen them even in 41 TOEFL conversations transcriptions.
Beeesneees wrote:
I'm sorry that you don't appear to be able to see the difference between legitimate informal structure, which shows command over the English language, and street slang, such as 'gotta', 'wanna' and 'ain't', which sounds uninformed, but it's your choice.

street slang
I think you know what slang is. You may see this.
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The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family #15 (permalink) Wed May 26, 2010 16:42 pm   The advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family
 

I just wanted to tell you that I know them all since you suggested that I should not have used 'gonna'...
I appreciate your concern, but you didn't know about my learning process, Kitosdad had known ...He's been with me from the very beginning so this was the comment he passed:
Kitosdad wrote:
Oooops!
That essay I've written was not satisfactory at all. To tell you the truth, a friend of mine wrote some of the sentences and I didn't even read quite a few of the sentences. I spent five minutes to write three paragraphs. However, There's no shame in saying 'I don't know'. Everybody might make a mistake.
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