Essay: Why do you think people attend college or university?

[Lemin1991]

Hi Kitos, Would you mind to correct my essay? please help me. I am new member :D This is my toefl topic.

Any employments require a great deal of qualities that must be well-prepared before you apply the job. Some of them can be learn by your self, but others cannot. Therefore, attending college or university is supported to students to gain that qualities such as: expanding one’s knowledge, developing interpersonal skills, career preparation.

Firstly, attending college may help you expand your knowledge. There are a number of sources you can gain knowledge from such as library, professors, classmates,… A large library contains a great deal of precious books that include many fields of study, which is beneficial to student access human erudition. In addition, with real life experiences, the lectures of the professors would be more candid than materials so that students were interested in the speech. From this, students would have a choice of their desirable major which may be intimately related to their employment in the future. Furthermore, the feeling of peer pressure can motivate undergraduates to study harder.

Another reason for attending college is that its environment gives you the opportunity to exercise your interpersonal skills that has strong impacts on your future job. Beside on curriculum, university offers many opportunities for students to get involved in outdoor activities such as: cultural activities, extracurricular activities, ... For example, participating in extracurricular activities can make students who are always shy in communicating with others become more confident. Also, they can have a close relationship with their friends via this interest.

Last but not least, career preparation is the main objective of undergraduates. With the help of the school facilities, future engineering can get accustomed to their job in order to hone skills or learn how to resolve a problem. It is important for students to apply their employment more effortless after attending college than people who do not. If your university ranks in the top of lists, you may get a superior salary in the entry-level position.

In summary, attending university is beneficial to student to prepare for future employments. Personally, I believe that it is worthy of pursuing in order to find jobs more easily through skills that students gain from.

TOEFL listening lectures: What is the main difference between a fad and a trend?

[Kitosdad]

Hi Kitos, Would you mind to correct my essay? please help me. I am new member :D This is my toefl topic.

Any employments require a great deal of qualities that must be well-prepared before you apply FOR the job. Some of them can be learnT by your self, but others cannot. Therefore, attending college or university is supported ADVANTAGEOUS to students IN HELPING THEM to gain that THOSE qualities such as: expanding one’s knowledge, developing interpersonal skills AND career preparation.

Firstly, attending college may help you expand your knowledge. There are a number of sources FROM WHICH you can gain knowledge(,) from such as librarIES, professors AND classmates,… A large library contains a great deal of precious books that include many fields of study, which ARE beneficial to student access human erudition.

In addition, with real life experiences, the lectures of the professors would be more candid than materials(,) /THEREFORE/so that/ students were WILL BE interested in the speech. From this, students would have a choice of their desirable major which may be intimately related to their employment in the future. Furthermore, the feeling of peer pressure can motivate undergraduates to study harder.

Another reason for attending college is that its environment gives you the opportunity to exercise your interpersonal skills /that has/WHICH WILL PROBABLY HAVE/ strong impacts on your future job.
Beside on curriculum, THE university CURRICULUM offers many opportunities for students to /get/BECOME/ involved in outdoor activities such as: cultural activities, extracurricular activities, ... For example, participating in extracurricular activities can make students(,) who are always shy in communicating with others(,) become more confident. Also, they can have a close relationship with their friends via this interest.

Last but not least, career preparation is the main objective of undergraduates. With the help of the school facilities, future engineeriS can /get/BECOME/ accustomed to their job in order to hone skills or learn how to resolve a problem. It is important for students to apply their employment more effortlessLY after attending college than people who do not. If your university ranks in the top of lists, you may get a superior salary in the entry-level position.

In summary, attending university is beneficial to student /to prepare/IN PREPARING/ for future employments. Personally, I believe that it is worthy of pursuing in order to find jobs more easily through skills that students gain THERE.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Good morning Lemin, and a belated WELCOME to the Forum. Your work shows promise.
Keep posting your work. I look forward to seeing more from you.

Kitos. 7.5/10
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Lemin1991]

thank you a lot. I have a question for you. I don't know the word "intimately" in the essay is used properly, it makes me so confused

[Kitosdad]

Intimately is OK in this context. However, "closely" might have been a more suitable word to use.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.