The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing...

[Hieubtcoltech]

Topic:
---------------------------------
The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some
people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets.
Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health.
To what extent do you agree with these views?
---------------------------------

Today, the number of obese people in developed countries is increasing rapidly. More seriously, the majority of this quantity are children. Some people think the rise of fast-food outlets is the main cause of the overweighting in children. But others think that the reason is due to the apathy of parents in caring their children. In my views, both of two reasons mentioned above together affecting the obesity in children.

The development of the food industry has led to the diversity and the appeal of fast foods. Consequently, the number of fast food stores are springing up everywhere like schools, libraries or places where the density of children are large. Fast foods are not too expensive. The children, with a moderate amount of money, can buy their favorite foods at anytime they like. This bad eating habit of children with the high in fat and rich nutrients of foods can easily make them become overweighting.

In fact, the eating habits of children are mostly influenced by their parents. Parents often think that a fat children is a healthy children. Hence, they always encourage their children to eat as much as possible. Another reason is that parents are always busy and full of works, they do not have much time to notice as well as prepare a healthy meal for their children. Therefore, fast foods are the best choice for them. They buy a lot of fast foods, store them in refrigerators and then tell their children that they can eat anytime when they feel hungry. Those kinds of parents often do not pay attention to the dangerous of the high in fat of that fast foods. That apathy of them is gradually damaging the health of their children.

In conclusion, we should not blame the rise of fast foods outlets for the increase in the number of overweight children because these shops are mainly built to serve our needs. We must condemn the attitude of parents, they should spend more time to take care of their children, especially in their basic needs, a healthy meal.

Mr.Kitosdad, I'm trying to correct myself, I hope this essay was not bad too. Thanks!

TOEFL listening discussions: Which best describes the student's current activity?

[Kitosdad]

Today, the number of obese people in developed countries is increasing rapidly. More seriously, the majority of this /quantity/NUMBER/ are children. Some people think the rise of fast-food outlets is the main cause of the overweighting in children. Others think that the reason is due to the apathy of parents in caring FOR their children. In my views, both of two reasons mentioned above together ARE affecting the obesity in children.

The development of the food industry has led to the diversity and the appeal of fast foods. Consequently, the number of fast food stores are springing up everywhere like schools, libraries or places where the density of children IS QUITE large. Fast foods are not too expensive. The children, with a moderate amount of money, can buy their favorite foods at any time they like. THESE bad eating habitS of children; EATING FOOD WHICH IS HIGH IN FAT CONTENT AND RICH IN NUTRIENTS with the high in fat and rich nutrients of foods can easily CAUSE them TO become overweight.

In fact, the eating habits of children are mostly influenced by their parents. Parents often think that a fat child is a healthy child. Hence, they always encourage their children to eat as much as possible. Another reason is that parents are always busy and full of works, they do not have much time to notice as well as prepare a healthy meal for their children. Therefore, fast foods are the best choice for them. They buy a lot of fast foods, store them in refrigerators and then tell their children that they can eat THEM any time when they feel hungry. Those kinds of parents often do not pay attention to the dangerS of the high in fat CONTENT of THOSE fast foods. THE apathy of them is gradually damaging the health of their children.

In conclusion, we should not blame the rise of fast foods outlets for the increase in the number of overweight children, because these shops are mainly built to serve our needs. We must condemn the attitude of parents. They should spend more time takING care of their children, especially in their basic needs, a healthy meal.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
This was pretty good Hieubtcoltech. I think if you had reviewd your work a little more closely, you would probably have noticed some of the things I have picked-up on.

Kitos. 8/10
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.