If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when and where would you

[Mohammad64]

I'll appreciate every comment on my essay.
Thanks in advance

Everyone has some points in his life when he likes or does not like to go back to. There are two reasons that we like to return to some points in the past. The first one is that we are regretful about things that we think we should have done or should not have done. We wish we had the chance to return to that time to act differently. The second reason is that we think that we had good time on that point or stage of our life even if at that time we had thought we had a terrible time. In this essay, I will write about some points in my life when I like to come back because either I regret or I have a good memory of.
I always like to come back to the time when I was in secondary school in Fooladshahr (or Ariashahr, a town which has 25 km distance from Isfahan) .At that time TV used to broadcast a cartoon which was named Soccer players (Footballers). All the people who are in the range of my age can remember the energy and the interest which this cartoon used to made in kids. I loved soccer and I really wanted to become a soccer player. Nevertheless, I liked to continue my education and become an engineer. For this reason, I used to say “I want to become someone like Ali Daei”. Ali Diaei is one of the best soccer players in the history of Iran. I had heard that besides he was a soccer player, he was an industrial engineer. Actually, he was my role model. My friends and I used to play soccer every day. We had a team which named …… . All the players in our team were united though we usually didn’t use to win. In school, at sport class, I used to choose kids in my team who were not good at soccer. I liked to manage and lead this team to make a miracle and I made it many times by winning against team which had better players. I like the world that I used to have in my childhood.
Let’s tell you about something that I’m really regretful about. I have so many regrets that it is difficult for me to choose one of them to prescribe. Generally, most of my big regrets are about my choices in dilemmas. But regretting doesn’t have any use. Now, I try to think about future and I try to make things better with regarding previous mistakes. Actually, I have no better options.No use crying over split milk.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the adviser's office?
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If you need help, on a windy night, be sure to leave a candle burning so a friend can see the light.

[Kitosdad]

I'll appreciate every comment on my essay.
Thanks in advance

Everyone has some points in his life when he likes or does not like to go back to. There are two reasons that we like to return to some points in the past.

The first one is that we are regretful about things that we think we should have done, or should not have done.
We wish we had the chance to return to that time to act differently.

The second reason is that we think that we had good time AT that point or stage of our liVES, even if at that time we had thought we had a terrible time.
In this essay, I will write about some points in my life /when I like to come back/TO WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO RETURN/ because either I regret or I have a good memory of SOMETHING THAT OCCURRED THEN.

I always like to come back to the time when I was in secondary school in Fooladshahr (or Ariashahr, a town which has 25 km distance from Isfahan).
At that time TV used to broadcast a cartoon which was named Soccer players (Footballers). All the people who /are in the range of my/WERE THE SAME/ age can remember the energy and the interest which this cartoon used to /MAKE/GENERATE/ in /kids/CHILDREN/.
I loved soccer and I really wanted to become a soccer player. Nevertheless, I liked to continueD my education and becAme an engineer. For this reason, I used to say “I want to become someone like Ali Daei”. Ali Diaei is one of the best soccer players in the history of Iran. I had heard that besides /he was/HIS BEING/ a soccer player, he was an industrial engineer. Actually, he was my role model. My friends and I used to play soccer every day. We had a team which named WAS CALLED…… . All the players in our team were united though we usually didn’t use to OFTEN win. In school, at sport class, I used to choose kids in my team who were not good at soccer. I liked to manage and lead this team to /make/PERFORM/ a miracle(,) and I made it many times by winning against A team /which/THAT/ had better players. I like the world that I used to have in my childhood.

Let’s tell you about something that I’m really regretful about. I have so many regrets that it is difficult for me to choose one of them to prescribe. Generally, most of my big regrets are about my choices in dilemmas. But r Regretting doesn’t have any use. Now, I try to think about THE future and I try to make things better with regard TO MY /EARLIER/ previous/ mistakes. Actually, I have no better options. No use crying over split SPILT milk.
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Good morning Mohammad. I enjoyed reading your essay. It is brave of you to open your heart to others.
I have only two tips for you; Don't use contractions in your work, don't, can't, didn't,.
Write the full meaning. Do not, Cannot, Did not.
Also, don't start a sentence wit "BUT or "AND".
Never use "kids," ALWAYS write CHILDREN.

Good work my friend.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Mohammad64]

[Kitosdad]

I do only what I can Mohammad, but thank you my friend.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.