This is my first post. Please comment my answer on a toefl® speaking question.

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Hi everyone,

I'm a newbie here. After wandering around this website, I found that this website is a great place to learn and I would like to thank many teachers here who are devoted to teach and comment a lot of ESL learners.

Let's go to the point. I would appreciate if anyone comment on my speaking.
This is a question 3 of the Toefl speaking section.
Reading passage:

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