Success And Luck

[Manee]

Hi, how are you everyone?
MR. Kitos could you check my essay please?

Most of people believe that luck play a significant role in making success. When they fail achieving something, they often pretend that luck leave them. I strongly believe that hardworking is the most important factor in success making, that because hardworking means not giving up, continuing thinking, and stating goals.
Successful people never giving up whatever they face. They often fall in problem that may make other people stop doing what they plan to, but successful people always stand up and carry on achieving what they started with. Abraham Lincoln, the former president of United State, for example, want to be the president , but he lost the elections several times; Even though he did not give up until he eventually won and became the president.
Another side of hardworking is having a thoughtful mind which reduce the rate of the errors . Person who take in account every step he do, and make a plan to follow it often reach success. In contrast, person who do his work randomly without any pre-thinking, he rarely achieve success. Moreover, thinking and planning make person reach fast his objectives. For example, two students take an exam, one prepared and work hard, so he easily pass the exam. However, the other did not even try to study, consequently he simply fail.
Success people always state their goals before they are doing anything. They are sure that list of organization goals will bring the transparency, clarity, and ease when they decide achieving these goals. In addition, stating goals help to know exactly what to do next. Therefore, they do the appropriate things in the appropriate time.
To conclude, people can perform success if they desire, but this desire depend on people themselves. That is mean, desire require hardworking without quit in hard situations, with mind think all the time, and with state goals and struggle to achieve them. However, when desire come without these things, person could wait forever for luck to make success, but I’m sure it does not come.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two university students who met on campus

[Kitosdad]

Hi, how are you everyone?
MR. Kitos could you check my essay please?

Most of people believe that luck playS a significant role in making success. When they fail TO achievE something, they often pretend that luck DESERTED them. I strongly believe that hard work is the most important factor in ACHIEVING success making, that because working hard means not giving up, continuing TO think, and stating PERSUING goals.
Successful people never givE up, whatever OBSTACLES they MAY face. They often fall in MEET WITH problemS that may WOULD make other people stop doing what they plan to, but successful people always stand up and carry on achieving what they started with OUT TO ACHIEVE.

Abraham Lincoln, the former President of THE United StateS, for example, wantED to be the President , but he lost the elections several times; Even though SO(,) he did not give up until he eventually won and became the President.

Another side of working hard is having a thoughtful mind which reduceS the /rate/AMOUNT/ of the errors. A person who takeS inTO account every step he MAKES, and makeS a plan to follow IS often reach successFUL. In contrast, A person who doES his work randomly(,) without any pre-thinking, he rarely achieveS success.
Moreover, thinking and planning makeS A person QUICKLYreach fast his objectives. For example, two students take an exam, one prepared WELL and workED hard, so he easily passES the exam. However, the other did not even try to study, consequently he simply failED.
SuccessFUL people always state their goals before they are doing /DO/ATTEMPT/anything. They are sure that A list of organizED goals will bring the transparency, clarity, and ease when they decide ATTEMPT achieving these goals. In addition, stating goals helpS to know exactly what to do next. Therefore, they do the appropriate things in the appropriate time.

To conclude, people can perform BECOME successFUL if they desire, but this desire dependS on THE people themselves. That is THIS meanS, desireS require hard work(,) AND A DETERMINATION NOT TO without quit in /hard/DIFFICULT/ situations(.)
with mind think all the time, and with state goals and struggle to achieve them. However, when desire comeS without these things, A person could wait forever for luck to BECOME successFUL, but I AM sure it does not come.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Good morning Manee. Another good essay that was restricted by your lack of descriptive vocabulary. You have the potential to become a very good writer. Do more reading, paying particular attention to sentence structure. I hope to see more work from you soon.

Kitos. 7.5/10
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