With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information...

[Bug_Aonz]

Hi all,
I'm practicing writing toefl essay and I would like any expert here to help comment my essay below. All comments are welcome and you can comment anything not only grammatical errors but also the ideas, flow and the organization of the essay which you think that it is good for me to know in order to improve my writing skill.

Thanks in advance. ^_^

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is undeniable that technology plays a vital role in developing and driving our world in many ways. Although there might be some disadvantages of using technology, it has a significant impact on many parts of the educational system and students’ learning processes. Technology can help students learn more material and learn it much faster than before. It can help students access any information they need very easily, save time and money, and get in touch with people who have expertise in a particular subject.

First, technology, especially the Internet, makes all information easily accessible for students. With the help of the Internet, students can easily find any material and information which can help them to do research or projects. Tons of educational resources, such as ebooks, tutorial audios and videos are all over the Internet which students can freely download it for learning purpose. In many countries, many bookstores in those countries don’t provide available textbooks written in English or in other languages for student but, fortunately, they can alternatively buy it from online bookstores via websites on the Internet. Therefore, students can access more information without limitation.

Second, technology can help student save time and money. In terms of doing research or projects, students must gather information and need some guidelines in doing it. It is quite a time-consuming task to find exact material they need. Fortunately, there are many search engines providing searching tools which students can use it to find particular data and information by searching through the Internet and get the results within just a few second. Another illustration is that students in remote area can comfortably shuttle between their schools in a big city and their homes with the help of public transportations such as subway and high-speed train which could save a lot of time so they will be able to focus only on their study. Furthermore, there are many free educational channels or tutorial videos which can let students learn by themselves and, most importantly, it is free.

Last but not least, students can meet people, experts and teachers who have experience and expertise in various subjects, such as Math, Biology, Physics, etc., in the online community. Sometimes, teachers at our school cannot answer every question we have, we can alternatively ask those experts in the online community to help finding the solution or giving the guidelines or examples to solve the problem. Furthermore, they are many individual blogs or websites which provide a lot of step-by-step examples which students can follow and apply it. These could help students learn and understand materials much faster.

Technology can facilitate students’ learning process in many ways and students can quickly learn more information. Technology can help make all information accessible for students to use, help students save time and money in finding information or resources, and help meet people from many places who specialize in various fields and subjects. Therefore, we cannot deny that technology is one of the tools which could help students improve their learning process if they use it effectively in the proper and constructive way.

TOEFL listening lectures: How would the professor most probably categorize Shinto?

[Kitosdad]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is undeniable that technology plays a vital role in developing and driving our world in many ways. Although there might be some disadvantages IN using technology, it has a significant impact on many parts of the educational system and students’ learning processes. Technology can help students learn more material and learn it much faster than before. It can help students access any information they need very easily, save time and money, and get in touch with people who have expertise in a particular subject.

First, technology, especially the Internet, makes all information easily accessible for students. With the help of the Internet, students can easily find any material and information which can help them to do research or projects. Tons of educational resources, such as e-books, tutorial audios and videos are all over the Internet which students can freely download it for learning purposeS.
In many countries, many book-stores in those countries don’t provide available textbooks written in English or in other languages for studentS(,) but fortunately they can alternatively buy it from on-line book-stores via websites on the Internet. Therefore, students can access UNLIMITED information without limitation.

Second, technology can help student save time and money. In terms of doing research or projects, students must gather information and need some guidelines in doing SO. It is quite a time-consuming task to find THE exact material they need. Fortunately, there are many search engines providing searching tools which students can use it to find particular data and information by searching through the Internet(,) and THEY CAN get the results within just a few secondS.
Another illustration is that students LIVING in remote areaS can comfortably shuttle between their schools in a big city and their homes with the help of public transportations(,)such as THE subway and high-speed trainS which could saveS a lot of time so they will be able to focus only on their studIES. Furthermore, there are many free educational channels or tutorial videos which can let students learn by themselves(,) and most importantly, it is THEY ARE freeLY AVAILABLE.

Last but not least, students can meet people, experts and teachers who have experience and expertise in various subjects, such as Math, Biology, Physics, etc., in the on-line community. Sometimes, teachers at our school cannot answer every question we have, THEREFORE we can alternatively ask those experts in the on-line community to help find the solution or giving the GIVE guidelines or examples to solve the problem. Furthermore, they are many individual blogs or websites which provide a lot of step-by-step examples which students can follow and apply THEM. These could help students learn and understand materials much faster.

Technology can facilitate students’ learning process in many ways(,) and students can quickly learn more information. Technology can help make all information accessible for students to use, help students save time and money in finding information or resources, and help meet people from many places who specialize in various fields and subjects. Therefore, we cannot deny that technology is one of the tools which could help students improve their learning process PROVIDED they use it effectively in A proper and constructive /way/MANNER/FASHION/.
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Good morning Bug. That was an interesting essay. You will do well.

Kitos. 8.5/10
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Bug_Aonz]

Thanks for your fast reply, Kitos.

Thanks for your constructive comments. I will improve my writing and ask for your feedback again. ^_^
Anyway, I would like to ask you a question.

What the different between "material" and "information"?
If I would like to talk about the sources of study such as books, articles, video, etc. What should I use : "materials" or "material"?

Thanks,
Aon

[Kitosdad]

Materials as you are speaking of many things.
Material for only one thing.

What the different between "material" and "information"? Material is the source of the information, a book, DVD,
pamphlet ... the information is the knowledge that you gain from using these materials.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Bug_Aonz]

Thanks Kitos.

I got it right now.