An essay on starting formal education at an early age

[Victor_Amelkin]

Hello,

Could you please take a look at the following TOEFL essay
of mine? Any critique is highly appreciated.

Topic:

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Essay:

Each couple who have children thinks of when to start to educate their children formally. Some parents prefer to start formal education of their children as early as possible, while others prefer to wait for several years. In my opinion, starting formal education at an early age, though is beneficial, is too dangerous. Thus, I would refrain from early formal studies for my children.

On the one hand, starting formal education early is beneficial. Children start getting intensive mental development early, so they become mentally adult at an early age. This is undoubtedly beneficial, because the purpose of any person is not to stay in childhood forever, but to become a mature society member and start to live full life as soon as possible. Also, formal education is conducted in a systematic manner by professional educators. Additionally, formal education implies studying in a classroom or with a private tutor, which frees some time for parents. The latter is a great benefit, because when having children parents have almost none of free time, especially in the period when their children are young.

On the other hand, beginning to formally educate children too early can have negative consequences. First and foremost, formal education may be considered uninteresting by young children. At an early age, almost all children are very active preferring games and entertainments to anything that seems dull and boring. Of course, even formal education can savor interest, but, generally, real-world formal classes are too dreary for a young person. Additionally, an intensive studying program can have diametrically opposite effect to the early metal development. It can decrease a child's development rate, diminish the desire to study, and reduce his or her self-confidence. What is more, many classes work by standardized programs and they do not take into account peculiarities of each student.

To sum up, formal education started at an early age has both pros and cons. While it promises early mental development, it can as well be ineffective and even harmful for young children. Thus, starting formal education at an early age is too dangerous, and I would wait until a child reaches an age of six-seven years before starting to educate his or her formally.

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Thanks in advance.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an employee in the student services center

[Kitosdad]

Each couple who have children thinks of when to start BEGIN to educate their children formally. Some parents prefer to start BEGIN THE formal education of their children as /early/SOON/QUICKLY/ as possible, while others prefer to wait for several years. In my opinion, starting TO BEGIN formal education at an early age, though is beneficial, is too dangerous. Thus, I would refrain from early formal studies for my children.

On the one hand, starting TO COMMENCE formal education early /is/CAN BE/ beneficial. Children /start getting/BEGIN TO RECEIVE/ intensive mental development early, so they become mentally adult at an earlyIERage. This is undoubtedly beneficial, because the purpose of any person is not to stay in childhood forever, but to become a mature society member and start to live A full life as soon as possible. Also, f Formal education is conducted in a systematic manner by professional educators. Additionally, formal education implies studying in a classroom(,) or with a private tutor, which frees some time for parents. The latter is OF great benefit, because when having children(,) parents have almost none of NO free time, especially in THAT period when their children are young.

On the other hand, beginning to formally educate children too early can have negative consequences.
First and foremost, formal education may be considered uninteresting by young children.
At an early age, almost all children are very active(,) preferring games and entertainments to anything that seems dull and boring.
Of course, even formal education can /savoUr/AROUSE/PIQUE/ interest, but generally real-world formal classes are too dreary for a young person.
Additionally, an intensive studying program can have A diametrically opposite effect ON theIR early metal development.
It can decrease a child's development rate, diminish ITS desire to study, and reduce his or her self-confidence. What is more, many classes work by UTILISING standardized programs(,) and they do not take into /account/CONSIDERATION/ THE peculiarities of each student.

To sum up, formal education BEGAN at an early age has both pros and cons. While it promises early mental development, it can /as well/ALSO/ be ineffective and even harmful TO young children. Thus, starting formal education at an early age is too dangerous, and I would wait until a child reaches an THE age of six OR seven years before starting to educate HIM or her formally.
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Good morning Viktor. This is a great improvement on your last essay. Well done.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.