Which one has most significant influence on a young adult, the family or friends?

[Ehmet]

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[color=darkred]Hello ~ guys! My name is Ahmet, I'm from China. But I'm not a Chinese, I mean, ethnically , I'm an uyghur, from Shinjiang, an automomous region of China. Now I study Architecture in Hefei University of Technology. I am just preparing for TOEFL, but it's writing and speaking section bothering me. I don't really know how to practise them. This is my essay , I really appriciate you if give me some suggestions. [/color]

[color=olive]Some people think that the family is the most important influence on young adults. Others think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your position.[/color]

There is no doubt that the family and friends are influence on young adults greatly. While it comes to discuss which one has most significant influence on a young person, from my personal perspective, I am more inclined to the family. Nowadays, society requires people, especially, young adults to possess a great variety of abilities and competences when they step in the real world. Only by the family or parent’s influences can the young adult or teenager acquire such essential qualities. Because of the family is the cradle of one’s personality, the store of never-exhausted help and the harbor of eternal love.

Firstly, it is the personality that plays crucial role in one’s life. When ask about the question: how or where does one’s personality shaped? I think the answer is the family. Since we were born to grow up, we live with our parents and sibling who are influence on our attitude toward life and the way of thinking, incessantly and subconsciously. For example, I have shaped an outgoing characteristic, maybe it is because of my father’s outgoing personality was influenced me unconsciously.

In addition to young adults’ personalities, the never-exhausted help of the family has influences on teenagers. When we run into some trouble, it is just our parent or siblings that always lend us a helping hand anywhere, anytime.

Last but not least, love, the most gorgeous things in the world, is has most profound effect on a person. To an adolescent, there is nothing more important and having more tremendous influence than parental love. For example, I have a friend that his mother died when he was young, his father does nothing but drink all day long, now he is in prison for commit serious crime. I think this is a opposite example and bad influence of lacking of parental love.

To sum up, the family and friends always have tremendous impact on a young person in his or her whole life. However, in my view, young adults are influenced by their family incessantly and subconsciously, because of their personality, never-exhausted help and eternal love.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why do Birds of Paradise have amazing plumages?

[Kitosdad]

There is no doubt that the family and friends are influence on young adults greatly. While it comes to discussING which one has THE most significant influence on a young person, from my personal perspective, I am more inclined to CHOOSE the family. Nowadays, society requires people, especially, young adults(,) to possess a great variety of abilities and competences when they step inTO the real world. Only WITH the family or parentAL influences can the young adult or teenager acquire such essential qualities. Because of t The family is the cradle of one’s personality, the store of never-exhausted help and the harboUr of eternal love.

Firstly, it is the personality that plays A crucial role in one’s life. When askED about the question: how or where does IS one’s personality shaped? I think the answer is, the family. Since w We were born to grow up, we live with our parents and sibling who are AN influence on our attitude toward life and the way of thinking, incessantly and subconsciously. For example, I have shaped an outgoing characteristic PERSONALITY. Maybe it is because of my father’s outgoing personality was THAT HAS influenced me unconsciously.

In addition to young adults’ personalities, the never-exhausted help of the family has influences on teenagers. When we run into some trouble, it is ALWAYS our parent or siblings that always lend us a helping hand anywhere, anytime.

Last but not least, love, the most gorgeous thing in the world, is has THE most profound effect on a person. To an adolescent, there is nothing more important and having more tremendous influence than parental love. For example, I have a friend WHOSE mother died when he was young. His father DID nothing but drink all day long. Now he is in prison for commitING A serious crime. I think this is aN opposite example and A bad influence of THE lack of parental love.

To sum up, the family and friends always have tremendous impact on a young person in his or her whole life. However, in my view, young adults are influenced by their family incessantly and subconsciously, because of their personality, never-exhausted help and eternal love.
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Good work Ehmet. I like your style.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Ehmet]

Thank you for your help, Kitos.