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#2 (permalink) Thu Jan 05, 2006 12:24 pm TOEFL essay sample |
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Right now i (I) am looking trough the window and i (I) see some kids. (NEW SENTENCE) How happy they are while they are playing with eachother (EACH OTHER). I have to admit that it is kind of hard for me for not being still a member of this infancy (NO LONGER BEING A CHILD/THAT I AM NO LONGER A CHILD). If someone would ask (ASKED) me if i (I) (WOULD)agree with a stetement (STATEMENT) that childhood is the happiest time of a person's life, i (I) would say, yes. Well if you are wondering why is that so (WHY THAT IS SO) i (I) will explain that to you in the remaining (PART) of my essay. The first and the main reason of (FOR) my decision is that in (AT) this time everything is like (IT IS IN A FAIRY TALE) in the fairteil, you beliEve in everything that is above realism (BEYOND REALITY/THAT IS NOT REAL).
For example when i (I) was about five or six years old i (I) of course still beliEved in Santa clous(CLAUS) and there is (ARE) no words to describe how happy i (I) was when the christmas time was comming(CHRISTMAS WAS COMING) I remmber (REMEMBER) the (NO ARTICLE) Christmas morning when it was time to open my present, i (I) allways got some sort of toy that i couldent left of my hand. (I ALWAYS GOT SOME KIND OF TOY I COULDN'T LET GO OF/I HELD IN MY HANDS ALL THE TIME). One good reason that i (I) think childhood is the happiest ime of a persons (APOSTROPHE PERSON'S) life is also the fact that you have no worries (NEW SENTENCE). Children are tottaly careless (COMPLETELY/TOTALLY CAREFREE) about their future. Im (APOSTOPHE I'M) so sure about that, because i (I) was once i (I) A child and all i was thinking about was when will come another day, so i can go play again. (AND ALL I THOUGHT ABOUT WAS WHEN WOULD THE NEXT DAY COME SO I COULD GO AND PLAY AGAIN). To sum up i (I) sincerely believe that if a person doesnt (DOESN'T) have to much (TOO MANY WORRIES) worries and if a person sometimes can be a litlle (LITTLE) bit less realistic, this can be a really good way to achiEve happiness. Both of this qualitys (THESE QUALITIES) i (I) can find in childhood AND infancy and that is why i choose it for the happiest time of a person's life.
This is quite good but there are a lot of mistakes that can be avoided like agreement (singular/ plural), spelling, use of capital letter for first person singular, use of apostrophe. The reason I say this is because you sometimes make a mistake with a word/construction and then you don't make a mistake with the same word/construction. My advice is for you to practise writing shorter sentences and using words that you know well. Simple English and short sentences can be very effective. _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
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Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13890 Location: UK
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#3 (permalink) Thu Jan 05, 2006 15:47 pm TOEFL essay sample |
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Quite good? I can't believ it :D Thank you. |
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kylie Guest
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#4 (permalink) Wed Jun 17, 2009 13:09 pm TOEFL essay sample: Childhood is the happiest time of a person's life. |
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Hi, Can you check my essay for the same topic? Beforehand thank you.
Remembering my childhood I can say that this was the happiest and best time of my life. Now I starting to recognize that when I was a child I don't need every evening switch on my alarm and next morning get up early. During whole day you can be free and if you don't want to do something you haven't do it. When you are child you are running and moving all day long but not due to the limit of time or busyness but due to the living style. When I was in the kindergarten I worry only about who will win in the next football game between two groups or will run faster and jump higher but not about passing exams, buying some stuff in the shops, making payments and so on. In childhood every day is new and differs from the previous one. From day to day you learn something interesting and useful for you either from the book or TV or just from the communicating with other child or people surround you. You are growing up as person with your own meaning and world-view. And finally childhood is the happiest time of people’s life. |
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Kutda New Member
Joined: 17 Jun 2009 Posts: 1
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