[Essay] Need some feedback regrading my poor essay

[Draggy]

Hello Teachers,

My essay: :(

Title: Do you support modern technology or not?

Technology is the sum of the ways in which social groups provide themselves with the material objects of their civilization. This is referring to the application of critical thinking or science to solve certain problem or task during the memorial of mankind time. Meanwhile, modern technology means the advancement of technology in our current time that progress from the previous historical time. Therefore, modern technology is crucial because it offer better knowledge, creation also known as tool and quality of life for mankind.

Advancement of technology provides finer knowledge that empowering us with the understanding of our surrounding. This gives us a wider and clearer view of our surrounding, whether it is an object or a subject, we able to precisely define the outcome of the issue and solve it. For illustration, in today world’s available knowledge, student is able to learn and specify the chemical mixture reaction before the chemical fusion take place. As a result, student with the chemist’s knowledge able to avoid unwanted result and achieve their desire goal. Modern technology contributes to the improvement of the current knowledge and guides us toward positivity thinking.

With the modern technology’s knowledge, we are able to materialize idea and concept from the knowledge as modern creation. This creation is also known as tool, an invention that derives from the knowledge and it provides support and aids our daily routine or work. Today, there are many types of modern technology’s tools that come in various shapes, sizes and functionality for handling different requirement. For instance, a microscope allow researcher to study small objects, while a vehicle use to transport people and goods from one point to another. Thus, modern technology’s tool enables people to perform complex task without burden us. Modern technology’s tool further extends the benefit of modern technology toward the society and world.

Current technology’s knowledge and tools provide us a perfect combination to improve our quality of life. Quality of life is much better compare to the olden days where people face difficulty in solving or performing their task. Likewise, modern medical technology enables doctor to treat epidemic dieses such flu and virus, whereby there are no possible treatment for the epidemic dieses during the olden days. Similarly, modern communication and transportation technology brings the people in this world closer to each others. Consequently, quality of life is much better compare to our previous classical times.

The essential of present technology are significant toward mankind whereby contribution in term of knowledge, tool and quality of life. These are just few of the advantage’s bedrock that display by the modern technology itself. In the distant future, modern technology capable delivers more benefit for the moment due to the amount of time and resource require by the technology researcher. Modern technology is not a luxury but it is an essential for us to move forward for a better future.

Please kindly assess my essay and feedback are welcome.

Thank you.

[Mister Micawber]

Offhand, it seems to me that you copied a lot of vocabulary and phrases from your sources and then tried to fit them into the grammar that you know, which is not enough.
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Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Goronsky1]

In all candor, your essay needs to have a lot of the fat trimmed; also, you need to pay more attention to the syntax [grammatical arrangement of words] and punctuation.