Thanks in advance for checking my essay with quit patient

[Ursvijayv]

kindly give me exactly where am i doing mistake by indicating to know well and improve.

Many people believe that it’s very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each view point and take a stand. Give specific reason for your position.
First and fore most money is very important to all lead a very good life. If a person earning large amount of money, then his family have very good status in society. Their children study in very prestigious school in city by car and send their children to aboard for higher studies. The family members have luxurious life like going foreign tour yearly once. Mostly the family members enjoy themselves going out and eat in five star hotels. The one who earning more money has lot of work pressure in the job. The more work pressure will lead to unhealthy life but family member have good health and hygienic food. Even though the person could earn for their family happiness couldn't spend the time with their family function. The person who earning money could send their family to tour but he couldn’t go with them and couldn't able to see his children happiness on tour.

Some people like to earn money for their normal life. Those people are like to spend their time with their family members to whom they are earning. Their children also get into school and have normal life. But the earning person can daily spend time their children, guide them for their studies, teaching to them to how to lead life in future become as like him and even play ball game with his children. The person has good health due to low work pressure on his job. They all together go for local tour and enjoy with his family members. So He satisfied his family members by join with his family occasion.

In conclusion, earning money is to spend that for family happiness and even to myself with them. So, I would like to lead my life in spending time with family members and playing ball game with my children.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor in the College of Fine Arts

[Kitosdad]

kindly give me exactly where am i doing mistake by indicating to know well and improve.

Many people believe that it’s very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each view point and take a stand. Give specific reason for your position.
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First and (foremost) money is very important to all PEOPLE WHO DESIRE TO lead a very good life. If a person earning EARNS A large amount of money, then his family WILL have very A good status in society. Their children MAY study in very prestigious schoolS, WHERE THEY ARE TAKEN inTO THE city by car. THEY MAY EVEN send their children to aboard ABROAD for higher studies. The family members WILL have A luxurious life like going AND GO ON foreign tourS ANNUALLY. yearly once. Mostly the family members enjoy themselves going out and eatING in five star hotels. The one who earnS more money has A lot of work pressure in the job. The more work pressure will lead to THEIR HAVING AN unhealthy life but OTHER family memberS MIGHT have good health(.) and hygienic food. Even SO, the person could earnING for their family happiness couldn't spend the time with their family function. The person who IS earning THE money could send their family ON tour, but he couldn’t go with them and couldn't BE able to see his childrenS happiness on tour.

Some people like to earn money for their normal life. Those people are like to spend their time with their family members FOR whom they are earning. Their children also get into school and have A normal life(,) but the earning person can daily spend time WITH their children, guide them for their studies, teach to them to how to lead life in future(.) BECOME like him and even play ball gameS with his children. The person has good health due to low work pressure OF his job. They all together go for local tour and enjoy with his family members. So, h He HAS satisfied his family members by joinING IN with his family occasion.

In conclusion, earning money is to spend that for family happiness and even to myself with them. I would like to lead my life in spending time with family members and playing ball gameS with my children.
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Again not good Urs. I have sent you a Private Message. Please read it and reply.

Kitos. 6/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Vineethreddy16]

Many people believe that it’s very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each view point and take a stand. Give specific reason for your position.

Money is the essence of the life. With the help of money we can access every nook and corner of the world. Man rotates round the clock for money which is the basic need of every individual to satisfy their desire and palate. In this commercial world, some people i am sure would believe that making a large amount of money is a great idea, others would disagree. In my view, money plays many things with the man until he utilizes it effectively.

Money adds flavor to life. With the help of money man can demand everything around the world and can access every remote corner of the world. A barbarian with the huge amount of money is given more importance in the society than the intellectuals. For example in my street a person lived named Chandraya who used to work in the hotel as a barer. He has a huge amount of land acquired from his paternal and maternal family members. As his land got much demand he sold it and now leading a luxurious life with house full of workers. The people who treated him as a barbarian in the past now started respecting him a lot as he acquired huge money.

Money not only makes man worthy but also it leads to different bad habits which can ruin his life and health. With the help of money man gets interact with different people of varied culture, habits etc. Mostly youth gets attracted towards alcohol
and sex. Many of our international stars have lost there valuable life as they are unable to manage the money and time. For example, Azarrudhin who was the captain of Indian team made match mixing with the South African cricketers and was been banned from the International cricket.

In sum up,the most comfortable life is the middle class life. People in this class are satisfied with what he have when compared with high class and low class people. I also opine that people can lead a respectable life even with huge money if they have the idea of the future and manage money in a necessary way as they need. Sachin Tendulkar is the best example who managed money, fame and respect

[Vineethreddy16]

please rate my essay . . . i am waiting for your update.