Successful people accept new things and take risks

[My76]

Hi, kitos.
Thanks for your correction.
I am sorry to trouble you again. I had posted this essay here. I modifid it and posted it here again. I just hope it could be a little better.

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Topic:Successful people accept new things and take risks rather than hold on to the things that they have done well.
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Obviously, novelties and risks are inevitable problems we have to encounter, when we are trying to approach our goal. The one who always stays in its familiar condition would not gain breakthrough.

The ability to accept novelties and venture is indispensable for one’s great achievement. Success always means that we achieve something difficult, painful, or even impossible rather than something easy, familiar or dated/obsolete. Therefore if we desire fulfill it, we must deal with some new and intractable problems. As new problems often require new methods and techniques, the best way to solve them is studying them, learning some new knowledge and facing up to the challenge . In this process , adventure is essential because new attempts contain a large amount of unknown factors . A classic example of this is Bill Gates. When he was a university boy, he attempted to develop some new computer software, which was a complete innovation in that period. What's more, he made a decision to quit Harvard and to start his own business. Incredible as it may seem, he did it. He is a successful man now. He established Microsoft, which is dominating in the field of computer systems. If he had satisfied his promising major in the famous university, he would not realize so marvelous success.

Contrarily, merely focusing on good old things will limit one's personal development. Granted, proficient skill could be helpful in one’s success. But if a man repulse learning and hesitate to attempt more advanced methods, he could not go further even if he is the most professional specialist. Maybe the one is adept in operating machine or cooking, but in view of our fast development of society , the state-of-the-art equipment and more healthier cooking style will replace those obsolete ones. Who refuse this tendency will be refused by contemporary society, not to mention success. Thus, no matter how masterly technique you have, you must catch up with the constantly evolutive society, study new knowledge and deal with new challenges , regardless of those risks. It’s the only way to success.

For these reasons, we can safely conclude that ceaseless studies and attempts are of great importance for one’s success while living in the changeless situation constrains one’s development. To be a successful man, he must do not content with his prefect skills but learn and search for new and more advanced methods.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Physics

[Kitosdad]

Hi, kitos.
Thanks for your correction.
I am sorry to trouble you again. I had posted this essay here. I modifid it and posted it here again. I just hope it could be a little better.

****
Topic:Successful people accept new things and take risks rather than hold on to the things that they have done well.
****

Obviously, novelties and risks are inevitable problems we have to encounter when we are trying to /approach/ACHIEVE/ our goal. The one who always stays in its familiar condition SURROUNDINGS MIGHT NEVER would not gain ACHIEVE A breakthrough.

The ability to novel and IN BEING PREPARED TO venture ONTO NEW GROUND is indispensable for one’s greatER achievement.
Success always means that we achieve something difficult, painful, or even impossible rather than something easy, familiar or dated/obsolete. Therefore if we desire TO fulfil it, we must deal with some new and intractable problems. As new problems often require new methods and techniques, the best way to solve them is BY studying them, learning some new knowledge and facing up to the challenge . In this process , adventure is /essential/INEVITABLE INGREDIENT/, because new attempts contain a large amount of unknown factors . A classic example of this is Bill Gates. When he was a university boy, he attempted to develop some new computer software, which was a complete innovation /in that period/AT THAT TIME/. What's more, he made a decision to quit Harvard and to start his own business. Incredible as it may seem, he did it. He is a successful man now. He established Microsoft, which is dominANT in the field of computer systems. If he had satisfied his promising major in the famous university, he would not HAVE realizeD so marvelLous A success.

Contrarily, merely focusing on good old things will limit one's personal development. Granted, proficient skillS could be helpful in one’s success(,) but if a man repulseS learning and hesitateS to attempt more advanced methods, he could not go further even if he is the most professional specialist. Maybe the one is adept in operating machine or cooking, but in view of our fast development of society , the state-of-the-art equipment and more healthier cooking style will replace those obsolete ones. WhoEVER refuseS this tendency will be refused by contemporary society, not to mention success. Thus, no matter how masterly A technique you have, you must catch up with the constantly evolutive society, study new knowledge and deal with new challenges , regardless of those risks. It’s the only way to success.

For these reasons, we can safely conclude that ceaseless studies and attempts are of great importance for one’s success(,) while living in A changeless situation constrains one’s development. To be a successful man, he must do not BE content with his prefect skills(,) but CONTINUE TO learn and search for new and more advanced methods.
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Good morning My. I'm not sure whether I have followed your train of thought at times.
However, your work shows great promise. Keep reading and learning.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.