GRE® Argumentive Essay: Six months ago the region of Forestville increased...

[Nachikey]

Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region’s highways by ten miles per hour. Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent. But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period. Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region’s highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville’s speed limit to what it was before the increase.
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The author professes that a reduction of the speed limit in Forestville must be done in order to reduce automobile accidents. A reduction in speed limit might well be a good idea to reduce accidents but the author makes a number of unwarranted assumptions in supporting his point.

The author’s makes his first mistake in attributing the cause of accidents to the rise in speed limit. He also considers only a six month period to relate the speed limit with the accident statistics. A six month period is not enough to judge this. Perhaps the weather during those six months might have gone worse that could have led to the increase in accidents. Also a high flow of traffic accrued by a high propensity of accidents might have caused an increase in accidents. The location of Forestville is also worth considering in analyzing accident statistics. If Forestville is nestled in a hilly region with its highway roads winding in and around it, then it surely is an accident prone place.

The author compares Elmsford with Forestville and claims that even with the speed limit unchanged in Elmsford, automobile accidents have plummeted there. Elmsford may be a town just like Forestville or may not be like. Even if Elmsford is just like Forestville, the decline in automobile accidents could be due to numerous reasons like a reduction in passenger traffic or pathetic conditions of roads that might have caused the drivers to detour. If Elmsford is a place unlike Forestville, then reasons like good traffic control system, safe and responsible driving, efficient and diligent traffic police could have contributed to the decline in automobile accidents. The author fails to recognize this.

The idea of reducing speed limit on highways is certainly a thoughtful remedy to curb automobile accidents but the author must have supported his arguments by statistics and considering the fatality of the accidents which occurred. The author should have considered all possible causes for rise in automobile accidents other that just speed limit. Had this been done the author’s final claim in the paragraph would have been defensible.

[Kitosdad]

Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles travelLing on the region’s highways by ten miles per hour. Since that change /HAS TAKEN effect/HAS COME INTO FORCE/, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent(,) but the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboUring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period. Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region’s highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville’s speed limit to what it was before the increase.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The author professes that a reduction of the speed limit in Forestville must be done in order to reduce automobile accidents. A reduction in speed limit might well be a good idea to reduce accidents(,) but the author makes a number of unwarranted assumptions in supporting his point.

The author’s makes his first mistake in attributing the cause of accidents to the rise in THE speed limit. He also considers only a six month period to relate the speed limit with the accident statistics. A six month period is not enough to judge this. Perhaps the weather during those six months might have /gone/BBEN/ worse AND that IN ITSELF could have led to the increase in accidents. Also a high flow of traffic accrued by a high propensity of accidents might have caused an increase in accidents. The location of Forestville is also worth considering in analyzing accident statistics. If Forestville is nestled in a hilly region with its highway roads winding in and around it, then it surely is an accident prone place.

The author compares Elmsford with Forestville and claims that even with the speed limit unchanged in Elmsford, automobile accidents have plummeted there. Elmsford may be a town just like Forestville(,) or may not EVEN be SIMILAR(,) but even if Elmsford is just like Forestville, the decline in automobile accidents could be due to numerous reasons(,) like a reduction in passenger traffic(,) or THE /pathetic/TERRIBLE/ conditions of roads that might have caused the drivers to detour. If Elmsford is a place unlike Forestville, then reasons like good traffic control systemS, safe and responsible driving, efficient and diligent traffic police could have contributed to the decline in automobile accidents. The author fails to recognize this.

The idea of reducing THE speed limit on highways is certainly a thoughtful remedy to curb automobile accidents(,) but the author must have support his arguments WITH statistics and IN considering the fatality of the accidents which occurred. The author should have considered all possible causes for THE rise in automobile accidents other that just A CHANGE IN speed limitS. Had this been done(,) the author’s final claim in the paragraph would have been defensible.
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You make a plausible argument Nachikey.

Kitos. 8/10
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