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Check My Lines Please



 
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ESL Forums | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
one hopelessly behind the times | how to interrupt?
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Check My Lines Please #1 (permalink) Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:38 am   Check My Lines Please
 

I am not strong enough against you
Don’t let me stay without you
I have just come to my senses
Volcano1985
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Check My Lines Please #2 (permalink) Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:48 am   Check My Lines Please
 

I would suggest this for number 1:

I am not strong enough to stand up against you/compete against you
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Check My Lines Please #3 (permalink) Mon Aug 02, 2010 14:51 pm   Check My Lines Please
 

Too long for a lyrics
Volcano1985
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Check My Lines Please #4 (permalink) Mon Aug 02, 2010 15:06 pm   Check My Lines Please
 

If they are song lyrics then they obviously need to fit a certain rhythm, and probably a specific rhyme, so it's a little more difficult to offer advice.
However, I won't let that stop me! :-)

I would remove 'stay' and use 'be'.
Don't let me be without you,
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Check My Lines Please #5 (permalink) Mon Aug 02, 2010 15:15 pm   Check My Lines Please
 

Hello

Thanks, Beeesneees.We can't look for rhythm, etc because I translated it from another language.
Volcano1985
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Check My Lines Please #6 (permalink) Mon Aug 02, 2010 15:28 pm   Check My Lines Please
 

Swapping "be" for "stay" alters the meaning a bit, though. "Stay" probably indicates that the speaker already is without the person and wants that to stop. "Don't let me be without you" is better if you want to prevent a separation.
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