The socialization of children determines the destiny of the society.

[Ailiaili]

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 294-621 TIME: 00:33:16 DATE: 2010-8-5 9:36:12

Children are the future and hope of one society, and it is true that the success of their socialization today somehow determines the destiny of the whole society. From my point of view, the present generation has already learned how to raise the children who can serve to bring a better society, concerning the main idea of education and the atmosphere of the contemporary society.

There is a saying in Chinese that children are the flowers of the nation, who will be the pillar of society's future development. If the present children are creative and hard-working, then the future of the society will be more likely to achieve great scientific improvement and economic development. Because creativity is the incentive of the breakthrough in scientific field and due to the hard-working characteristic, these children will endeavor to their career in the future, all of which are able to put the society forward. Therefore the success of present children plays an important role in the country's future.

In the meantime, how children socialized is the key point of their potential success. Socialization is the process influenced by two major parts that are the environment of society and education provided by parents and schools. Through the process individual develops from an independent person to a socialized person. Today, with the development of civilization and knowledge, although there are still some downsides required to be improved, the present adults have already done a good job in socializing children who are able to bring us a better society.

Concerning the environment of the society, it is true that there are still some criminal and immoral incidences, while the atmosphere of the society is optimistic and prosperous in the large scale. The character of kindness, integrity, loyalty, hard-working and other positive ones is spoken highly by the mainstream idea, which is considered as the indispensable and essential quality of a good individual. Besides, those negative and aberrant phenomena, such as gaining wealth by cheating or embezzlement, cruelty and mean, are despised and rejected by the mainstream value. Provided with the healthy and positive value of the whole society, it is easier for children to grow into helpful and valuable individuals for the future development of the society.

When it comes to education, in the school, we now not only put an emphasis on the acquisition of knowledge, but also the ability of critical thinking, independent learning and creativity, which all serve to develop children into an all-round qualified individuals. Many high schools now encourage students to participate in different kinds of clubs, such as the science club which guides students to explore the unknown world and apply what learnt in class into practice and the political policy club which helps students to develop a more insightful understanding about the phenomenon of the society. All these club activities enable children to get more involved with the realistic world, and cultivate their comprehensive abilities at the same time, which helps children profoundly in their future development. Moreover, referring to the family education, parents now place a great emphasis on cultivating children to be cooperative, independent and creative. All these characteristics play a positive role in children’s future. Hence, the achievement of education nowadays largely helps children to become better qualified people who are able to push the improvement of the society.

Although there are still some dark downsides exist in the society, which somehow are unavoidable in every era, adults have already grasped the main idea of how to socialize children for the positive value of the society nowadays and the proper education provided by schools and parents. Since children are the main force of developing the society, their satisfied qualities are sure to bring us a better one.
-----------------
I've read this through several times before i post it. Hope there won't be too much mistakes, kitos. And this one is quite important.

I'm confusing with several other questions..
1) What's the difference between charater and characteristic?? They are the same in the english dictionary..But it seems that the usages are different.

2) And would you please revise this sentence for me?
When it comes to those subjects that the ideas of them change fast, focus on the practical use, or the outside work is needed to fulfill the study, it would be proper for professors to obtain the firsthand working experience.
I wrote this in another essay. I feel that there must be something wrong with it, but I have no idea how to correct it and put all these ideas into one sentence, since it is the conclusion part.

Thanks for your attention and help!
Best regards!

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students in a chemistry class

[Kitosdad]

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 294-621 TIME: 00:33:16 DATE: 2010-8-5 9:36:12

Children are the future and hope of one society, and it is true that the success of their socialization today somehow determines the destiny of the whole society. From my point of view, the present generation has already learned how to raise the children who can serve to bring a better society, concerning the main idea of education and the atmosphere of the contemporary society.

There is a saying in Chinese that children are the flowers of the nation, who will be the pillar of society's future development. If the present children are creative and hard-working, then the future of the society will be more likely to achieve great scientific improvement and economic development(,) because creativity is the incentive of the breakthrough in scientific field(,) and due to theIR hard-working characteristicS, these children will endeavor IN their careerS in the future, all of which are able to put the society forward. Therefore the success of present children plays an important role in the country's future.

In the meantime, how children socialize is the key point of their potential success. Socialization is the process influenced by two major parts that are the environment of society and education provided by parents and schools. Through the process individualS develop from an independent person to a socialized person. Today, with the development of civilization and knowledge, although there are still some downsides required to be improved, the present adults have already done a good job in socializing children who are able to bring us a better society.

Concerning the environment of the society, it is true that there are still some criminal and immoral incidences, while the atmosphere of the society is optimistic and prosperous in the largeR scale. The characterISTICS of kindness, integrity, loyalty, hard-working and other positive ones is spoken highly by the mainstream idea, which is considered as the indispensable and essential quality of a good individual. Besides, t Those negative and aberrant phenomena, such as gaining wealth by cheating or embezzlement, cruelty and meanNESS, are despised and rejected by the mainstream value. Provided with the healthy and positive value of the whole society, it is easier for children to grow into helpful and valuable individuals for the future development of the society.

When it comes to education in the school, we now not only put an emphasis on the acquisition of knowledge, but also the ability of critical thinking, independent learning and creativity, which all serve to develop children into an all-round qualified individuals. Many high schools now encourage students to participate in different kinds of clubs, such as A science club which guides students to explore the unknown world and apply what IS learnt in class into practice(,) and the political policy club which helps students to develop a more insightful understanding about the phenomenon of the society. All these club activities enable children to get more involved with the realistic world, and cultivate their comprehensive abilities at the same time, which helps children profoundly in their future development. Moreover, referring to the family education, parents now place a great emphasis on cultivating children to be cooperative, independent and creative. All these characteristics play a positive role in children’s futureS. Hence, the achievement of education nowadays largely helps children to become better qualified people who are able to push the improvement of the society.

Although there are still some dark downsides existING in the society, which somehow are unavoidable in every era, adults have already grasped the main idea of how to socialize children for the positive value of the society nowadays(,) and the proper education provided by schools and parents. Since children are the main force IN developing the society, their satisfACTORY qualities are sure to bring us a better one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This again was quite a good essay, but I feel you are becoming too sophisticated in your writing which inevitably leads to embarrassing errors in vocabulary usage. However, that is your decision to make.

Kitos. 8.5/10

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've read this through several times before i post it. Hope there won't be too much mistakes, kitos. And this one is quite important.

I'm confusED with several other questions..
1) What's the difference between charaCter and characteristic?? They are the same in the English dictionary..But it seems that the usages are different.

The character is the labelling of a person. "He is funny/lazy/ miserable/social/generous/.

The characteristic is the outward appearance he shows to the rest of the world. He limps/he laughs loudly/she dresses outrageously/she boasts a lot.

2) And would you please revise this sentence for me?

When it comes to those subjects that the ideas of them change fast, focus on the practical use, or the outside work is needed to fulfill the study, it would be proper for professors to obtain the firsthand working experience.

It would be proper for professors to obtain first-hand working experience of subjects that change quickly, or require further outside experience..

I wrote this in another essay. I feel that there must be something wrong with it, but I have no idea how to correct it and put all these ideas into one sentence, since it is the conclusion part.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Ailiaili]

Thanks for your advise kitos.
It is somehow needed to write some sophisticated sentence in my test i think..
i know there must be some improper usage, since i don't think in English..
Soo..would you please tell me some embarrasing vocabulary usage in this essay?? Because it seems hard for me to see any..
Thanks a lot!!

[Ailiaili]

excuse me sir,
would you please tell me the embarrasing mistakes of vocabulary usage in this essay?? it is really hard for me to see any..
Thanks a lot!!

[Kitosdad]

"it is really hard for me to see any.." That is because there are none... yet. My fear is that you are progressing too quickly, and you could start using complex grammar or words that are not relevant to the context. You have to do this only once in an essay to heap ridicule on your work.I have already seen this happen to a couple of people. Don't fall victim to complex grammar and "superior sounding" words. Far better to keeping it simple and interesting.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Ailiaili]

awww..thanks for your advice!
cause i am going to have the exam soon, what you said about the vocabulary mistakes really scared me...haha, i don't have time to improve to the extremely complicated structure and fancy words...:p haha
thanks anyway, keep your word in mind!!
have a nice day sir!
well, it's going to be tmr here soon..haha

[Kitosdad]

Goodnight then Aiaili. Sleep well.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.