Integrated essay

[Kleopatra]

Summarize the points made in the lecture you heard on fluoride, explaining how the points cast doubt on the points made in the reading.


1) The notion that fluoride has a crucial importance on the dental health is not supported by the proven evidence.It has been believed that fluoride is necessary ion for dentistry. According to this opinion, studies conducted in 1930s show that children living in the places that is rich enough with fluorides, possess healthier teeth than children living in the fluoride deficient areas. It is argued that fluoride can be added to the water where it is less than normal amount. Additionally, fluoride produces enamel-attacking acids that prevent decay of the teeth. It also aids to rebuild teeth cavities by producing enamel. Older people also can gain benefit by using fluoride such as fluoride toothpaste or drops. However these opinions are declined by the professor.
Professor claimed that it has more drawbacks rather than benefits. According to her, it is not faith to give people something without their consent. Studies show that average decay rate in the areas regardless of the amount of fluoride is almost the same. Even decay rate diminishes from time to time for different reasons. It occurs without relation with the fluoride amount. Another uncertain point about fluoride is their supplement to the water. Environmentalists argue that this is not safe enough for human health. It contains toxic substances. Moreover overexposure of fluorides has more side effects as well. It creates accumulative poison in different tissues that are the potential reason of unforeseen health problems. Therefore more research and studies are required in order to argue any statements about fluoride’s benefits as well as its hazards.
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2)

It has been believed that fluoride is necessary ion for dentistry. According to this opinion, studies conducted in 1930s show that children living in the places where is rich enough with fluorides possess healthier teeth than children living in the fluoride deficient areas. However professor argued that recent studies have proved by evidence that there is no relation between decay rate and fluoride amount, because decay rate is almost the same in the areas regardless of the amount of fluoride.
It has been believed that supplement of the fluoride to the water in the deficient areas can be beneficial for the dental health. Nevertheless, environmentalists claim that this supplement is not safe for human health, because the content of the supplement is not the same as the genuine fluoride, it has more toxic substances that are dangerous for human health.
Moreover, it is said that fluoride produces enamel-attacking acids that prevents decay and rebuilds tooth cavities by this acid. Even adults also can use its toothpastes or drops. Nonetheless, professor pointed out that overexposure of fluoride has more side-effects or drawbacks. In this case fluoride turns into an accumulative poison in different tissues of human body which creates unpredicted health problems in the future, because fluoride itself is a poison.
As the professor mentioned, these controversial ideas about fluoride require more research and studies to be conducted in the future.

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Kitos this is the same integrated essay that I wrote 2 times. In the first one, I divided it into two parts, firstly wrote reading passage, then added listening passage's material. But in my second essay I contrasted ideas given in the reading and listening passage according to the ideas. Which idea in the listening passage cast doubt on the points made in the reading passage. So Can you tell me please, which version is better and which one can help me to score higher points. Thanks in advance.

TOEFL listening lectures: When was Angkor Wat constructed?

[Kitosdad]

Summarize the points made in the lecture you heard on fluoride, explaining how the points cast doubt on the points made in the reading.


1) The notion that fluoride has a crucial importance on the dental health is not supported by the proven evidence.
It has been believed that fluoride is A necessary ion IN dental HEALTH. According to this opinion, studies conducted in 1930s showED that children living in the places WHERE THE WATER WAS rich enough with IN fluoride, possessED healthier teeth than children living in the fluoride deficient areas.
It is argued that fluoride can be added to the water where it is less than normal amount. Additionally, fluoride produces enamel-attacking acids that prevent decay of the teeth. It also aids to IN THE rebuildING OF tOOth cavities by producing enamel. Older people also can gain benefit by using fluoride such as IS FOUND IN fluoride toothpaste or drops. However these opinions are declined by the professor.
Professor claimed that FLUORIDE has more drawbacks rather than benefits. According to her, it is not faith LAWFUL to give people something without their consent. Studies show that average decay rateS in the areas regardless of the amount of fluoride IN THE WATER is almost the same.

Even decay rate diminishes THE RATE OF DECAY HAD DECLINED IN MANY AREAS WITHOUT THE RECOMMENDED FLUORIDE AMOUNTS.from time to time for different reasons. It occurs without relation with the fluoride amount.
Another uncertain point about fluoride is their ITS supplement to the water. Environmentalists argue that this is not safe enough for human health. It contains toxic substances. Moreover overexposure TO fluorides has MANY side effects. as well. It creates accumulative poison in different tissues IN THE BODY that are the potential reasonS of unforeseen health problems. Therefore more research and studies are required in order to argue any statements about fluoride’s benefits as well as its hazards.
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2)

It has been believed that fluoride is necessary ion for dentistry. According to this opinion, studies conducted in 1930s show that children living in the places where is rich enough with fluorides possess healthier teeth than children living in the fluoride deficient areas. However professor argued that recent studies have proved by evidence that there is no relation between decay rate and fluoride amount, because decay rate is almost the same in the areas regardless of the amount of fluoride.
It has been believed that supplement of the fluoride to the water in the deficient areas can be beneficial for the dental health. Nevertheless, environmentalists claim that this supplement is not safe for human health, because the content of the supplement is not the same as the genuine fluoride, it has more toxic substances that are dangerous for human health.
Moreover, it is said that fluoride produces enamel-attacking acids that prevents decay and rebuilds tooth cavities by this acid. Even adults also can use its toothpastes or drops. Nonetheless, professor pointed out that overexposure of fluoride has more side-effects or drawbacks. In this case fluoride turns into an accumulative poison in different tissues of human body which creates unpredicted health problems in the future, because fluoride itself is a poison.
As the professor mentioned, these controversial ideas about fluoride require more research and studies to be conducted in the future.

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Kitos this is the same integrated essay that I wrote 2 times. In the first one, I divided it into two parts, firstly wrote reading passage, then added listening passage's material. But in my second essay I contrasted ideas given in the reading and listening passage according to the ideas. Which idea in the listening passage cast doubt on the points made in the reading passage. So Can you tell me please, which version is better and which one can help me to score higher points. Thanks in advance.
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Good morning Kleo. The second one reads better in my opinion. (Unedited.) It is better organised and states the argument more clearly.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.