small town or big city

[Shining_Seasons]

Hi Kitos. I have took a great effort to write this essay. Can you take a look at it.

Topic: Do you prefer to live in a small town or a big city?

When I was a child, I lived in a small town. I experienced a sweet childhood in this town that became an unforgotable memory in my soul. However, I have lived in Hanoi city since I went away to universities. This city is a really big city and has many good universities, companies, and exciting recreation centers. Nonetheless, I wish, one day, I will return to my hometown to enjoy life there because living in a small town has many advantages that need to be considered.
Firstly, the most favorite thing that I like about living in a small town is the warm relationship there. By living here, I can strengthen the relationship with the people that I like the most, such as my family members, my relatives, and my friends. For instance, I can visit my grandparents whenever they have any problem immediately. This is very important because now they are old and weak. Also, I can help my parent with housework, and enjoy happy meals with them every day. Moreover, I also can visit my relatives, out hang out with my childhood friends easily.
Secondly, the qualities of life in small town is so great. In small town, I will be able to enjoy some activities that I like the most. For example, in free days, I can enjoy myself on a fishing boat in a middle of a quiet and peaceful lake with my fishing rod. In addition, it is very easy to find a peaceful and unspoiled area to call my friends for birding together. Further more, in a wonderful windy summer afternoon, I can play kites in fields, and enjoy the fantastic feeling when afternoon summer breezes pass though my body. Moreover, I will be less busy by living in a small town. If I live in a big city, the busy environment here will affects me significantly, and I will be involved in many many work day by day. In contrast, with sllow-paced life in a small town, I will experience my life with less work and also less worries.
Lastly, the fresh environment in small town should not be discounted. Since the moment I lived in Hanoi, form the moment that I wake up to the bed time, I have to hear noises of vehicles going on the road near my house. Further more, when I am traveling I always have to wear comforter to avoid durst in roads and fume extracted from pipes. In contrast, the atmosphere in small town is much healthier. For example, when I woke up in the morning, I could enjoy a peaceful atmosphere with birds cheeping and some cool breezes instead of vehicle noise and fume. The atmosphere is even more fantastic in summer nights with beautiful moonlight and a lot of fireflies flying and sparking. Only thinking about all these things, I nearly become mad about going back to this wonderful places.
Now, I am still living in Hanoi city to work and study. However, with all my hope, I always want to escape the Hanoi noisy sea to live in a small town, especially my hometown. It is because I have many loved people who have become integral part in mine there. Also, it has a lot of interesting qualities of life with many activities that I always dream to play and a slow-paced life. It has wonderful environment as well. Actually, from deeply in my heart, I have considered my hometown as a paradise.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students (1)

[Kitosdad]

Hi Kitos. I have took a great effort to write this essay. Can you take a look at it.

Topic: Do you prefer to live in a small town or a big city?

When I was a child, I lived in a small town. I experienced a sweet childhood in this town that became an unforgEtTable memory in my soul. However, I have lived in Hanoi city since I CAME away to universitY. This city is a really big city and has many good universities, companies, and exciting recreationAL centers. Nonetheless, I wish, one day, I will return to my hometown to enjoy life there, because living in a small town has many advantages that need to be considered.
Firstly, the most favorite thing that I like about living in a small town is the warm relationship there. By living There, I can strengthen the relationship with the people that I like the most, such as my family members, my relatives, and my friends. For instance, I can immediately visit my grandparents whenever they have any problemS. . This is very important because now they are old and weak. Also, I can help my parents with housework, and enjoy happy meals with them every day. Moreover, I also can also visit my relatives, and hang out with my childhood friends easily.
Secondly, the qualities of life in a small town ARE so great. In A small town, I will be able to enjoy some activities that I like the most. For example, in free days, I can enjoy myself on a fishing boat in THE middle of a quiet and peaceful lake with my fishing rod. In addition, it is very easy to find a peaceful and unspoiled area to call my friends for birding together. Further more, in a wonderful windy summer afternoon, I can play kites in fields, and enjoy the fantastic feeling when afternoon summer breezes pass though my body. Moreover, I will be less busy by living in a small town. If I live in a big city, the busy environment here will affect me significantly, and I will be involved in many many JOBS EVERY day. In contrast, with slow-paced life in a small town, I will experience my life with less work and also less worries.
Lastly, the fresh environment in A small town should not be discounted. Since the moment I lived in Hanoi, fROm the moment that I wake up to the bed time, I have to hear noises of vehicles going on the road near my house. Furthermore, when I am traveling I always have to wear comforter to avoid dust in roads and fumeS exHALED from pipes. In contrast, the atmosphere in A small town is much healthier. For example, when I wAke up in the morning, I could enjoy a peaceful atmosphere with birds cheeping and some cool breezes instead of vehicle noise and fumeS. The atmosphere is even more fantastic ON summer nights with beautiful moonlight and a lot of fireflies flying and sparkLing. Only thinking about all these things, I nearly become mad about going back to thESE wonderful places.
Now, I am still living in Hanoi city to work and study. However, with all my hope, I always want to escape the Hanoi noisy sea to live in a small town, especially my hometown. It is because I have many loved people who have become AN integral part in mine there. Also, it has a lot of interesting qualities of life with many activities that I always dream to play and a slow-paced life. It has wonderful environment as well. Actually, from deeply in my heart, I have considered my hometown as a paradise.
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A very nice essay SS, but you need to study ARTICLES. Mastering these will improve your work.

Kitos. 8/10
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Shining_Seasons]

Dear Kitos,

You said that:

A very nice essay SS, but you need to study ARTICLES. Mastering these will improve your work.

What kind of articles that I need to study?

[Kitosdad]

The usage of articles, A, An, THE.

"a fishing boat in middle of a quiet and peaceful lake " ... becomes.

a fishing boat in THE middle of a quiet and peaceful lake
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Shining_Seasons]

Thank you for commenting about my essay.

I have a question. I always feel risky when I wan to use some words that are very subtle in the context. For example I called Hanoi city as "noisy sea" as follow.

However, with all my hope, I always want to escape the Hanoi noisy sea to live in a small town, especially my hometown.

Do you think I should master using these words or avoid it?

[Kitosdad]

I should avoid it. Noisy sea doesn't really describe anything.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.