 #2 (permalink) Sun Aug 15, 2010 8:33 am FASHION -- GOOD OR BAD? |
|
|
| Hatung94 wrote: |
TOPIC: People nowadays are paying a lot of attention to fashion. Do you think this is a good thing?
As a kind of art, fashion has its own values and benefits for people(,) such as making them more beautiful. Nowadays, people are paying a lot of attention to fashion(,) and I think this is a very good thing because of the following reasons.
First, fashion makes people become more attractive. /On the roads,/IN THE STREETS/ a girl dressing in fashionable clothes always attracts more THE attention of MORE people than one in outdated outfit.
This is because(,) as human beings, we all want something that is new and APPEALING rather than boring. And Fashion, in this case, contributes a lot to the beauty of people. It makes them more pretty in apparels that are updated to the popular trends, which a number of people are interested in.
Secondly, fashion indirectly builds up a healthy lifestyle. People WOMEN who love fashion always want to be in the most up-to-date dressES. However, these clothes are just ONL suitable for A certain body shape, which is usually a thin one. Therefore, fashion(,) and the love /for/OF/ it(,) are encouraging more and more people to follow a healthY diet, to do exercise and to work out in order to have perfect bodies that are fitted in the clothes they like.
Last but not least, fashion makes our world an interEsting place to live in. If fashion did not exist, the world might be a dullER place where all people wore the same things with the same color. We could never see attractive girls in fashionable clothes on the roads(,) or youthful boyS in hip-hop costumes. Morever, no fashion means no traditional costume, which is a unique part that differentiates each culture. Therefore, with fashion, people can enjoy a colorful world where everyone looks beautifuL and attractive in their own fashion style.
In short, I believe that the special attention of people to fashion is reasonable and needS to be encouraged. It is because fashion contributes a lot to better people’s apprearance, APPEARANCES AND to create a healthy lifestyle and a colorful world.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Good morning Hatung. Your lack of attention to detail spoiled what should have been a perfect score! Be more attentive in your work when composing. You are a very apt and able student. Don't spoil your gift by not closely reviewing what you have written.
Kitos. 8.5/10
please rate my essay :D [/b]
TOEFL listening lectures: What is the main difference between a fad and a trend? |
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
|
 Kitosdad
Language Coach
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13417
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
|
