Please review my essay.

[Smarty001]

Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy – computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.

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Nowadays, the schools are becoming technology oriented to provide knowledge to the students and help them achieve a good career. Today most of the students know how to operate the computers and are more interested in learning using computers than reading books in the library. For instance, we can find many children in cyber cafes accessing computer and trying to explore their subject of interest than reading books in a library.

The computer with the internet connections seems to be a boon for students as they can learn their academic topics using it. For instance, if you are a student pursuring an engineering and have been given a task to get more information on robotics, then a simple term "robotics" on any search engine can provide a hundreds of the articles with images where as the same information seems to be limited in books. Hence with the advancement in any technology or field, it is easily reflecting on the computers or internet and is less expensive when compared to printing and maintaining newer version of books in the library. Also the school library may not be interested in buying new books until the old one is torn out.

Last but not the least, today career being mostly dependent on computer operating for various jobs like programming, adminstrations, medicine schools etc, students needs to be well aquianted and skilled in the field of computers. They should be able to work on it with ease. As computers have become a part of our life, I think the computers plays an important role in any student's life.

To summarize, the interest of the students, availability of vast knowledge on any topic and job requirements makes computer to be the prime requirement in the schools than books.

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Please review my essay...thanks.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture on Modern World History

[Kitosdad]

Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy – computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.

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Nowadays, ALL schools are becoming technologICALLY oriented to provide knowledge to the students and help them achieve a good career. Today most of the students know how to operate the computers and are more interested in learning ABOUT using computers than reading books in the library. For instance, we can find many children in cyber cafes accessing computerS and trying to explore their subject of interest than reading books in a library.

The A computer with the (I)nternet connection seems to be a boon for students as they can learn their academic topics using it. For instance, if you are a student pursuEing an engineering DIPLOMA and have been given a task to get more information on robotics, then a simple term "robotics" on any search engine can provide a hundreds of the articles with images(,) whereas the same information seems to be limited in books. Hence with the advancement in any technology or ANY field, it is easily reflecting on the computers or THE (I)nternet(,) and is less expensive when compared to printing and maintaining newer version of books in the library. Also the school library may not be interested in buying new books until the old one is torn out.

Last but not the least, today careerS ARE mostly dependent on computer operating for various jobs like programming, adminIstrations, medicine schools etc, students need to be well aquAInted and skilled in the field of computers. They should be able to work on THEM with ease as computers have become a part of our life(.) I think THAT computers playsan important role in any student's life.

To summarize, the interest of the students, availability of vast knowledge on any topic and job requirements makes THE computer to be the prime requirement in ALL schools RATHER than books.
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Not bad Smarty, but you still need more practise.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Smarty001]

Hi Kitos,

Thanks for reviewing my essay. For the above essay, how many marks will I get in Toefl out of 30 in the writing section. Please let me know.

Thanks,
Smarty.

[Kitosdad]

I don't know Smarty, because I don't know the criteria of the examiners. I would think about 22/24
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Smarty001]

Thanks a lot Kitos.