Issue 50

[Kaitlyn]

Does anyone can rate my essay in 6 scale and give me some suggestions? It's the first time for me to write the GRE issue,took me more than 2 hours to complete it.teething problems.....^^"

Issue 50
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
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Should all faculties be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the course they teach? When it comes to the way to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, there are always host of different opinion held by different individuals from different area. While the rapid development of the modern society, and the increase competition of the workplace, it is truly a necessary duty for a professor to obtain the knowledge or skills up to date to educate their students, but I still concede that sometimes this is not a master key in every situation.
Admittedly, most people would consider that if faculties spend some time working outside the academic to absorb the latest would be benefit to their students. The experience they obtained during they spent time to work outside practically would be the vivid instrument in the class. Moreover, the faculty activates in the professional field—attaining international conference or enhancing the academically exchange – would not only increase the students’ motivation of learning of students but also the creating the example image to the students. As my own experience, the professor who teaches psychoanalysis therapy keeps training herself by the courses of international psychoanalysis therapy organization, besides that she also acquired highly valued in this field. That impresses me deeply and encourages me learning more.
However, as a proverb says, “Everything has two sides”. Not all of the subject that need faculties to spend time in working area outside the academic world in professions relevant to the course they teach. For example, the mathematic and literature subjects, the material of math and literature were formed and unchanged for a long time, especially the historical literature were made by hundreds even thousands years ago. There is no need and no work place for the faculty to participate in “real” work. Another situation is there are some kinds of subject that the professors whose work already correlate to the practice. Spending another time to work outside the academic is needless. The art and music are the most representative examples for it. What the best instruments of art and music in class are the works made by professors themselves.
To sum up, there is an old saying that god helps those who help themselves, which is true in most cases. Although it is the duty for a faculty to teach the student the essential part of subject, help them to appreciate the beauty of the knowledge. It is the responsibility for student to learn by themselves eventually. Therefore, students and faculty alike stand everything to gain when faculty enrich their careers by interspersing field work with academic work.

[TutorPhil]

Kaitlyn,

Here are two issues with your essay that will make it difficult for you to get a high score:
1. Your main point is a bit weak and not clearly stated in the first paragraph.
First, don't begin an essay with a question. You should be answering, not asking.
Second, really, your thesis is that some faculty members definitely should not be required to work in their fields. Other than that, it's not clear whether the others should or not.

2. Your choice of words is too fancy.
You clearly use a bunch of words you don't fully understand the meaning of. It's much better to use simple language and be crystal clear than to use all these fancy words and sound like you don't know what you're talking about.

So, that said, as a result of these two problems, your essay betrays your lack of care. It is obvious that you just want to be done with this essay and never, and I MEAN NEVER WRITE AN ESSAY AGAIN! But if you relaxed a bit and realized that real people will be reading your essay, you'd write much better.

Here's a very good free resource I recommend for you. It's my blog. I post new articles regularly there and you can learn a lot just by reading them. I can tell you are struggling with this, so view my blog posts and ask, ask, ask questions - I answer everybody. You don't have to suffer - do a few simple things right and you'll be okay.
Check out the posts on how to write a thesis statement - you need that most!

Phil
www.TutorPhil.com

[Kaitlyn]

Phil: Thanks for your advicement and the useful information. It's really hard for me to write an essay though. I'll keep on learning and practicing in writing.