My first essay, rate please

[Studentfocus]

- Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? (I did in 30 minutes, so I really don't know if I'm doing it right).

The technology changed a lot our lives. Nowadays we can freeze food, heat food using the microwave, eat canned food and the most talked: the fast food – food that you do not need to cook, you just need to make a call or buy in the store.

This change did not improve the way people live. The world is living negative consequences because of these changes, and a lot of doctors of medicine are trying to alert the population about the effects of the food they buy at the supermarket or fast food stores. Fast food houses mostly serve food with a lot of salt and oil, besides the large refrigerant available. In addition, doctors claim that our supermarkets are full of products that use chemistry and compounds that are not healthy.

This kind of alimentation is very worrying. Researches prove that the number of diabetics and high blood pressure increased in the last few years because of the bad food habits.

A lot of children do not know or never tried to eat vegetables, fruits or seed. These kids do not have health and do not do enough exercise to lose what they eat every day. Moreover, simple things of life do not exist anymore. Because of this sick concern with time, people lose the chance to stay together and share time while cooking. We need our quality of life back.

It is necessary to do a nutrition education and teach the population about the risks that this kind of food can cause. It is important to make people understand that our body is an important machine, and if we do not take care, this machine will stop.

TOEFL listening discussions: What seems to be the student's main skill?

[Kitosdad]

- Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? (I did in 30 minutes, so I really don't know if I'm doing it right).

The Technology HAS changed a lot OF our lives. Nowadays we can freeze food, heat food using the microwave, eat canned food and the most talked about: the fast food – food that you do not need to cook, you just need to make a telephone call to order it, or buy it in the store.

This change did not improve the way people live. The world is living negative consequences because of these changes, and a lot of doctors of medicine are trying to alert the population about the effects of the food they buy at the supermarket or fast food stores. Fast food houses mostly serve food with a lot of salt and oil, besides the large refrigerant available. In addition, doctors claim that our supermarkets are full of products that use chemICALS and compounds that are not healthy.

This kind of alimentation is very worrying. Researches HAVE proveD that the number of diabetics and high blood pressure PATIENTS HAVE increased in the last few years because of theIR bad food habits.

A lot of children do not know, or HAVE never tried, to eat vegetables, fruits or seed. These kids do not have ARE NOT healthY and do not do enough exercise to BURN OFF what they eat every day. Moreover, simple things of life do not exist anymore. Because of this sick concern with time, people lose the chance to stay together and share time while cooking. We need our quality of life back.

It is necessary to INTRODUCE nutrition education and teach the population about the risks that this kind of food can cause. It is important to make people understand that our body is /an important/A DELICATE AND SOPHISTICATED// machine, and if we do not take care, this machine will stop.
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Good morning SF. A well opinionated essay.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Studentfocus]

Hey Kitos thank you veeeeery much :)