Argument 162 comments badly needed! Please

[Yoephin]

162.A recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia. Interestingly, Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. It turns out that soy contains phytochemicals called isoflavones, which have been found to possess disease-preventing properties. Thus, North Americans should consider eating soy on a regular basis as a way of preventing fatigue and depression.

This argument seems logical at the first glance, but it still contains several unconvincing assumptions. By representing that a recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia; and Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. The author's conclusion that eating soy on a regular basis as way of preventing fatigue and depression is not persuasive.

First, the number of people who participate in this survey is not well presented. If there are only ten or a people taking this test, the survey result is not statistically reliable. For it does not consist a large enough sample, it is possible that most Asians except those test takers are suffering the same disease as Americans do.

Second, even assuming that Asians eat 20 grams of soy per day, it is nevertheless unfair to infer that it is the soy that preventing fatigue and depression. In large degree, there are other source of food contain nutrition that might actually reduce the risk of involving these diseases. In additon, Americans' diet probably obtain foods that highly increase the risk of suffering fatigue and depression. Furthermore, it is not suitable for Americans to eat too much soy like Asians do, for there may be some chemicals in Asians' body that Americans do no have, turn soy into objects that might help to against the diseases.

Finally, eating too much soy might lead to increase the risk of suffering other kind of diseases, Asians might suffering much more terrible illness than Americans do, and just simply have not been found. The author should not overlook this negative effect that eating soy as regular basis might bring about.

In sum, the author's recommendation is not well supported. If the details about the healthy condition of Asians and a clear list for what exactly they have eaten every day would better bolster this argument.

[Kitosdad]

162.A recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia. Interestingly, Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. It turns out that soy contains phytochemicals called isoflavones, which have been found to possess disease-preventing properties. Thus, North Americans should consider eating soy on a regular basis as a way of preventing fatigue and depression.

This argument seems logical at the first glance, but it still contains several unconvincing assumptions. By representing that a recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia; and Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. The author's conclusion that eating soy on a regular basis as A way of preventing fatigue and depression is not persuasive.

First, the number of people who participateD in this survey is not well presented. If there are only ten or SO people taking this test, the survey result is not statistically reliable(,) for it does not consist OF a large enough sample(.) It is possible that most Asians, except those test takers, are suffering the same disease as Americans do.

Second, even assuming that Asians eat 20 grams of soy per day, it is nevertheless unfair to infer that it is the soy that preventS fatigue and depression. TO A large degree, there are other sourceS of food containING nutritionS that might actually reduce the risk of CONTRACTING these diseases. In additon, Americans' dietS probably CONTAIN food that highly increaseS the risk of THEIR suffering fatigue and depression. Furthermore, it is not suitable for Americans to eat too much soy like Asians do, for there may be some chemicals in Asians' bodIES that Americans do no have WHICH turnS soy into objects that might help to FIGHT against theSE diseases.

Finally, eating too much soy might lead to increase the risk of suffering other kindS of diseases, Asians might suffering much more terrible illness than Americans do, and just simply have not been DISCLOSED. The author should not overlook this negative effect that eating soy ON A regular basis might bring about.

In sum, the author's recommendation is not well supported. If the details about the healthy condition of Asians and a clear list for what exactly they have eaten every day
WERE TO BE PRESENTED IT would better bolster this argument.
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A good attempt Yoephin, although a little scant. I'm sure you are capable of writing better work than this.

Kitos. 8/10
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Yoephin]

Thank you! that's really kind of you!