ARGUMENT48--please correct it

[Lagogo1091]

TOPIC: ARGUMENT48 - The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country of Corpora.

"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
WORDS: 474 TIME: 00:29:00
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In this argument, the author concludes that the recent decline of the economy is the cause of the decline fitness levels and if the latter one will improve as the former one does. To bolster it, the author cites that there are fewer residents who are adequately fit according to the national advisory than 20 years ago. He also claims that the computer has not made citizens less physically fit. At first glance, this argument might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveals that it contains several unconvincing assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive.

To begin with, the author's conclusion that less local citizens are adequately fit than 20 years ago depends on the national advisory board is unreliable for several reasons. The author fails to consider that the whole population of the Corpora has increased, so the statistics in the board cannot prove that fewer citizens are adequately fit. Moreover, the national advisory board itself is unreliable because it ignores the changes during the 20 years, thus the different living habits may affect the standard of fitness. Without ruling out these and other possibilities, the author cannot confidently draw any conclusion as above.

Second, even assuming that the boards are reliable, the author unfairly concludes that the computer has not made citizens less physically fit. Though it is the fact that the people own most computers have the highest fitness level, the author fails to take into consideration that those people might not use the computer frequently. On the contrary, those local citizens who own fewer computers per capita may spend a lot of time in computer using. Unless the author can prove these scenarios unlikely, I cannot be easily convinced that the computer should not be responsible for the decline fitness of the Corpora citizens.

Finally, the author unjustifiably assumes that the local residents' decline is due to the economy decline merely by the decreasing expenditures on fitness-related products and services. However, the author overlooks the possibility that the local citizens prefer to have the exercise at home or they are reluctant to spend the money on these services though their economic condition is satisfying. Lacking sufficient evidence that the decline of the economy is the contributing cause of the low residents' expenditures on those healthy services, the author cannot justifiably conclude that economy is the primary cause of the decline fitness of the local residents.

To sum up, this argument's conclusion that the Corpora citizens' fitness will improve as the economy does is not well supported as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide more evidence that the fitness decline is the real fact and the computer indeed do no harm to the fitness at all. To better assess the problem, I would also need to know that the economy decline is the contributing cause of the low expenditures for the residents' fitness activities.
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I am new here, thank you!

[Kitosdad]

TOPIC: ARGUMENT48 - The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country of Corpora.

"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
WORDS: 474 TIME: 00:29:00
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

In this argument, the author concludes that the recent decline of the economy is the cause of the decline fitness levels and THAT the latter one will improve as SOON AS the former one does. To bolster it, the author cites that there are fewer residents who are adequately fit according to the national advisory than THERE WERE 20 years ago. He also claims that the computer has not made citizens less physically fit. At first glance, this argument might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveals that it contains several unconvincing assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive.

To begin with, the author's conclusion that less local citizens are adequately fit than 20 years ago depends on the national advisory board is unreliable for several reasons. The author fails to consider that the whole population of the Corpora has increased, so the statistics in the board cannot prove that fewer citizens are adequately fit. Moreover, the national advisory board itself is unreliable because it ignores the changes during the 20 years, thus the different living habits may affect the standard of fitness. Without ruling out these and other possibilities, the author cannot confidently draw any conclusion as above.

Second, even assuming that the boards are reliable, the author unfairly concludes that the computer has not made citizens less physically fit. Though it is the fact that the people own most computers have the highest fitness level, the author fails to take into consideration that those people might not use the computer frequently. On the contrary, those local citizens who own fewer computers per capita may spend a lot of time USING THEIR computerS using. Unless the author can prove these scenarios unlikely, I cannot be easily convinced that the computer should not be HELD responsible for the decline IN fitness of the Corpora citizens.

Finally, the author unjustifiably assumes that the local residents' decline is due to the economy decline merely by the decreasing expenditures on fitness-related products and services. However, the author overlooks the possibility that the local citizens prefer to have the exercise at home or they are reluctant to spend the money on these services though their economic condition is satisfying. Lacking sufficient evidence that the decline of the economy is the contributing cause of the low residents' expenditures on those healthy services, the author cannot justifiably conclude that economy is the primary cause of the decline fitness of the local residents.

To sum up, this argument's conclusion that the Corpora citizens' fitness will improve as the economy does is not well supported as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide more evidence that the fitness decline is the real fact(,) and THAT computerS indeed do no harm to the CITIZENS fitness LEVELS at all. To better assess the problem, I would also need to know that the economy decline is the contributing cause of the low expenditures for the residents' fitness activities.
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WELCOME Lagogo. That was a good assessment that you have made. Well done.

Kitos. 9/10
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